What do you believe about grief and loss?
Post submissions here that match this topic thread in comments.
What do you believe about grief and loss?
Post submissions here that match this topic thread in comments.
© 2024 UMassD Believes 2023
Theme by Anders Noren — Up ↑
July 1, 2023 at 9:02 pm
Isabelle K
I believe in grief and loss is how others are able to cope and help themselves. The past year I’ve lost a couple of people important in my life and I haven’t been the same since everyone is telling me that. My coping for grief is me being alone by myself and not letting anyone help me in the end. I feel this is what a lot of people do when they lose someone very important to them. I know that people should be able to help, but since I am this way it is very hard for me to let people in and let them get to know my feelings. I believe that a quote from Eeyore is “A little consideration, a little thought for others, makes all the difference.” I take this quote into consideration because I never let people into my life to help with the grief and the feeling of loss. The past year I lost my dog she was my very first one and I had her for fifteen years. I felt lost and grief and I didn’t go to school for two weeks because I was so emotional and didn’t know who I was anymore. I felt like I was losing myself and that the grief was to much to bare. I started to close myself off until my mom kept reminding me of the Eeyore quote. I do now take people’s thoughts into consideration since I know that I need to be better about it. I know that people go through their own hard times in life and I hope that me explaining my experience with grief helps people feel better and will let them be able to open up to people now.
August 15, 2023 at 4:10 am
Hi Isabelle Im sorry for your loss I feel the same way when I lost my aunt in early July. I can’t cry in front of people don’t know why but I can’t. I felt like I lost who I was from how much I changed. My friends were supportive and helped to take my mind off things.
July 6, 2023 at 12:17 am
Mya P.
Grief is most commonly defined as “the anguish experienced after significant loss, usually the death of a beloved person”. Grief comes without warning and there is no preparation for it. It hits you like a wave and consumes you. I believe that grief never really goes away. Something like this sticks with you forever. You don’t quite get over a loss. They say there are five stages of grief, anger, denial, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. I have experienced great losses. From romantic fallouts to best friends fading away, but losing my dog Lola was the hardest. I did not get the luxury of knowing it was her time. I remember seeing the litter of puppies and the exact moment I knew she was the one that I wanted to grow up with.
My immediate family had been distant from each other for a few years now and my grandma’s birthday was approaching. All she wanted for her birthday was for all of us to be together. In a way, I think Lola sacrificed herself for my grandmother. That day was the first day my mom, dad, sibling and I were in the same place together in years.
I like to believe she is still with me in the new dog my grandma got. They have similar features and mannerisms. I hope you are in there somewhere Lola. I do not believe I will ever get over this tragedy. No matter how much time passes, she will always be my first true companion. Grief is strong and powerful, but it makes us that much more grateful for the friends and family that we do have.
July 6, 2023 at 11:30 pm
Hello, Mya Im sorry for your loss of Lola I know that must have been difficult losing anyone or anything is to me the hardest part of life. How do you cope with the loss of your companion, the one that was there when no one was?
July 6, 2023 at 11:24 pm
Kiyah Rollins
Grief + Loss
What do I think about grief and loss? I should know a thing or two about it because my entire life has been filled with grief and loss. I prefer to reassure myself that sadness is a natural reaction to the loss of someone or something important in our lives. It may be a very emotional and difficult process, and everyone goes through it uniquely. My loss journey began when I was born. For good reason, my father has never really been in my life. I prefer to think of him as a leech; he latches onto you when he needs you and falls off after he has absorbed everything you have to offer. Now that I’m older, I understand that my dad has an illness, but that young girl in me still resents how he abandoned me and my mother. I’ll never forgive him for denying me the title of “Daddy’s little girl.” My mother struggled to raise my younger sister and me, but she always tried to disguise it and pushed forward with everything she had. I’ll never forget the love she had for us and how she just wanted us to be okay at the end of the day. My two grandmothers were a huge help to her with me and my sister. My mother’s mother was my first encounter with death. My little heart was broken by this. She was my best friend, neighbor, and grandmother all rolled into one. I watched how this affected my mother and how she wasn’t ever the same since, but she died shortly after, as did my great-grandmother. This pain cannot be expressed in words. I’m still mourning and know I’ll face more loss, but I’ve learned that it can be a difficult and overwhelming experience, and it’s critical to identify and handle the feelings that come as a result. I don’t think I’ll ever recover or find peace with the death of the most significant people in my life, but to keep going, I tell myself every day to make them proud and to do my best to show them what an amazing person they have raised me to be.
July 7, 2023 at 11:08 am
Thank you for sharing your story, Kiyah. Note that UMass-Dartmouth has a counseling center, which is available to all students, if you or any other incoming students reading this would like to talk to somebody about the kinds of feelings you describe in your post. Here is a link with more information: https://www.umassd.edu/counseling/
July 14, 2023 at 8:26 am
It’s so painful to think you have experienced so much in life, Kiyah. But I hope you are feeling strong, and there is hope that you will do well. If anything, I would like to be your friend.
August 15, 2023 at 1:51 pm
I’m so sorry you had to go through all of that Kiyah. I understand my comment doesn’t make any of that better, but you’re right to let that push you to be better. Making them proud and getting through this tough time is the only thing you can do. All you can do is keep moving forward. I am extremely proud of you for getting through this, and I’m just a random person reading your post. I’m sure they are overjoyed that you are open and honest about what’s happening in your life and you’re not going to let anything stop you.
July 8, 2023 at 8:24 am
Grief is a word that has a different meaning for everyone. It is a word that could be threatening to some, and worrying to others. At some point in our lives we are all faced with grief. The moral of it all is, how has it impacted your life?
In the year 2021, I lost two of the most amazing, loving, caring, and passionate people in my life. Most people usually get a break in between family losses. That one great aunt that you met once passed last year, the following year it may be a grandparent. Not for me, I didn’t get that period that is so vital. The time which can take several months to a year, or even longer to cope. The time to accept what has happened and what you need to do for yourself to accept the loss. I lost my Father and my Grandmother within two days. The week second week of the New Year was by far the worst week of my life.
In October of 2020, the doctors informed us that my Grandmother’s kidney failure levels had been increasing rapidly during the past months and had officially reached stage 5. Hearing this news what dreadful and heartbreaking. At the age of 86, there wasn’t much else we could do for her. You start to get nervous when you hear the word hospice because you know that the end is near. The months begin to pass and the condition worsens. We reach the week of January 3rd. At this point, all the grandchildren are at Vavo’s side knowing the time is limited. She starts to ask for the people she hasn’t seen yet, one of which was my Father. My Father had a history of Leukemia that was followed by very harsh treatments. My father’s chances of living at the time were very slim but he overcame and beat his cancer. Ever since, he was always afraid of death and everything that follows. So he respectfully told my Mother at the time, “You know I love your Mother, but I’d prefer not to see her this way. ” My mother understood and respected his wishes. My Grandmother wished to see him because she adored him. Without any regret, on January 8th he went and visit her. It was a difficult experience for him but he managed. The following day January 9th, my Mother and I go to visit her once again know our time with her is limited, my father insists we go, but he stay behind. Later that evening I call my Father and he doesn’t answer the phone. You start to get that gut-wrenching feeling due to the fact you’re already dealing with so much. We came home to find out my dear Father had passed away from a heart attack. The fact that he died alone without anyone holding his hand cuts me up like glass. I felt feelings at that moment that I would never impose on my worst enemy. The hero of my life, the one I always looked up to has gone without warning. I was crushed, broken, and lost knowing that my best friend was already gone and it wasn’t over yet because my Grandmother, my queen, was getting tired and her time was near. On January 11th, my Grandmother took her last breath.
Today, two years later I can officially say that my life has changed forever. Grief for me has been a cluster of emotions. There were days I cried desperately just wanting to hear their voices, and there were days I laughed looking back at all the fond memories. There were days I asked why did this have to happen to our family. At the end of it all I have come to the realization that grief cuts you open and teaches you how to stitch yourself right back up. Now the way I feel two years later may not be the way someone feels two hours, two days, or even two weeks later; but I was there once. I know the path and all the heartaches we encounter. I believe grief makes a person stronger and the ones we lose are the ones by our side 24/7. So I thank my Grandmother and my Father for all they have done for me and for shaping me into the man I have become and continue to aspire to be. I also thank my Mother for being my rock through it all. Without each other, the process would be much harder. So please, keep your loved ones close and build up those bridges that were burned in the past, because we are never guaranteed tomorrow.
July 10, 2023 at 1:07 pm
What an incredible series of losses you and your family have suffered, but I can see from your writing that you are not only learning, but teaching all of us, how to move through and with our grief. I am drawn to your words, “At the end of it all I have come to the realization that grief cuts you open and teaches you how to stitch yourself right back up.” I have felt the same way and thank you for sharing. Keep stitching.
July 11, 2023 at 5:34 pm
I am so sorry for all the people you have lost. It is definitely not easy, especially losing people back to back. You have no time to grieve. Or to feel at that. Emotions get misplaced and feelings are everywhere. The journey to heal is a timely one. And all I know it does get easier as time passes.
August 15, 2023 at 9:51 pm
I also lost a grandparent, though it was this year. I know the pain you went through, though it wasn’t the same, and I wish you a lot of luck and support through this year.
I’m very sorry for your loss.
July 10, 2023 at 4:32 pm
Freud P
Many people know grief as an emotional response to the loss of someone very close to them, like friends or family or could be a pet. Everyone has lost someone very important to them unfortunately, I believe that it is a part of life. Losing someone is hard and was hard on me when I lost my Grandpa, only remember seeing him once, he then died a year after I met him again. Even tho I didn’t see him, he was my joy. The fun stories he told me, the laughs he brought, and the smile he kept on his face was the reason why everyone loved him. When I heard about his death I didn’t know how to feel. I was a kid, it didn’t feel real to me.
Later in life, I realized people embrace loss and grief differently. Many people, like myself, cry when a loved one is gone. Some distract themselves from the pain and others just take it all in for the longest. It’s difficult to have that feeling of losing someone but it helps you grow as a person, to not take everything for granted, and to care about people more.
Every day I look back and remember the people I’ve lost in life. They are still important in my life even if they aren’t on this earth. Helped me appreciate life and for anyone struggling, it’s OK and there will always be someone there to help you.
August 10, 2023 at 5:17 pm
Christian Duncan
I like how you present the concept of everyone viewing grief from different perspectives. I agree that we must appreciate memories, people, and events as they come. Since at the end of the day, nothing lasts forever, and things that can be replicated, will not recapture the exact moment in the exact period.
Life is not something we should take for granted, and as well as the grieving process, it has its place in the process. Not all of the things in life we experience will be pleasant, and that’s a fact. However, by realizing and seeing through the very thing that troubles us, and reaching into the interior parts of our minds and emotions, we can start to form a balance between ourselves and our situation. However, all of this comes with time.
Good comment!
July 11, 2023 at 5:26 pm
Savannah C
I believe grief is one of the hardest processes to overcome. Coming from someone who lost six to seven people in the last three years, it is definitely not easy. One thing I learned is you don’t get over it, you just learn how to live with it. Even though my loved ones are not here with me today, I notice little things that remind me of them. That reminds me that I know they are watching over me. I lost one of my favorite people, my uncle, almost three years ago and it feels like just yesterday I got the call saying he had passed. It was not easy, I cried almost every day and just wanted to stay home. Staying at home did not help either because he lived with me and passed away in the house. It didn’t help just sitting in my sadness and dwelling in it, I learned that I have to keep my mind distracted so that is what I did. And I still do to this day.I was mad at everyone and the world.I still question why was he taking from me so soon? Realistically I know we do not have control of outcomes. Especially when it comes to death. It’s just part of life, at some point everyone goes. Just wish I could have had more time. I wish I could have said, “I love you.” I wish I could have said Good-bye. So overall spend more time with your loved ones because you have no idea when your last time is with them.
July 12, 2023 at 2:04 am
I believe that the feeling of grief and loss truly never goes away. People just learn how to cope with their loss in their own way. When someone loses either a pet, best friend, or family member, no matter how close they were to you, there is a grieving process everyone goes through. I went through and am still going through my grieving process. I lost a very close family/friend, her name was Kelzie. Kelzie had a smile that was like a sudden beam of sunlight that would brighten the entire room. Her laugh was so contagious that you couldn’t stop laughing until you had tears in your eyes. Tragically Kelzie passed away in June last year. I met Kelzie when I was eight years old, and I knew her for eight years. During those years, I saw Kelzie as a best friend, and even more as family. She and I became extremely close when I was 14. That’s the age I started babysitting her two daughters. Last August she would have finished her last year of college and would have turned 22. Kelzie and I had a lot in common, we both shared the same favorite color, green. She loved butterflies and flowers, she loved sunflowers the most. She had always wanted to have a photo shoot done in a patch of sunflowers, but unfortunately, it never happened. She loved to get her nails done. Both of us would be so excited to show each other our nails every time we got them done. I remember the last nails she showed me, they were dark blue. She was one strong woman. A big accomplishment of hers was being a single parent of two kids, while managing to do college work, having a job, paying for daycare during the week, paying for college, the place she lived in, and on top of that, paying for her children’s needs at the same time. Last year on Father’s Day, around 8:00 pm I got the call and heard what had happened to her. I still remember the call like it was yesterday. I was so heartbroken, I cried for days. I would have nightmares, I wanted it all to be a dream and just wake up to her texting me. I didn’t believe it, nor did I want to. My way of grieving was crying because it is a way of healing. My friends helped me through my hardest days to get my mind off of things. Listening to her favorite song helps me bring her spirit alive. There’s this dead-end road close to my house I would drive to and talk to her. Her two beautiful children that are 3 and 7 helped me cope. Seeing them all the time still brings me so much peace. To this day, I am still struggling with losing her. I bought a necklace last December, it has her name on it, with her birthstone at the bottom. I always have it on so that she is close to my heart. Kelzie made a big impact on my life and was one of the best friends I could have ever asked for. She will never be forgotten by me and her family. I inspire you to always cherish every moment you have with either your family or friends. Try to spend as much time with them as possible and hold them close. Most importantly, know you are not alone.
July 24, 2023 at 11:45 pm
I am so very sorry for your loss and you are a better person each day for holding her close and remembering her favorite things and keeping her close to your heart. It is awful that such bad things happen to good people. It doesn’t make any sense why some of the best and most important/favorite people in our world are the ones that we lose. I also do agree with you that people just learn how to cope with it and keep moving along with their life because it feels like that is what needs to happen. I do also believe that grief and loss are the worst.
July 16, 2023 at 11:24 pm
I believe that grief is a very important part of the healing process due to loss or traumatic event. I also believe that everyone handles loss differently and grieves differently. My family and I experienced loss this past spring. Unfortunately, my grandfather was unexpectedly diagnosed with lymphoma in the early weeks of march 2023. No one saw it coming. He was always healthy, never had any health problems except for a common cold here and there throughout the winter months. My grandfather was commonly known in the town of Danvers MA. He raised his family there and coached his son, who is my dad, through his middle school and high school career of baseball. My grandfather had the biggest passion for baseball. He started playing the sport at a young age, and eventually made his way up to the New York Yankees AA Farm team, until he had a career ending injury that sidelined his dreams of becoming a professional baseball player. My grandfather was there for every sporting event and concert of his kids and his grandchildren. He worked hard for his family and made sure we always had a smile on our face. He was the type of man that you went to even when you weren’t smiling. He was one of my sources of happiness. The day that my parents told me about his condition is something that I will never forget. My parents rarely have me and my sister sit down at the kitchen table with them so we can talk. Once I heard the sentence “Papa has cancer and is currently in the hospital.” it was like the world stoped. Everything froze and all I could hear was my heart beat starting to get louder and louder. From that day forward, everything felt different. The energy in my house changed, even my dog could sense something was wrong. For a month and a half, my grandfather was in and out of different hospitals and nursing homes. I think that one of the hardest parts about this process was going into the hospital to visit him. Not because I didn’t want to see him, but because it was hard to see him. He didn’t even look like himself. On April 23, 2023 my grandfather passed away. My dad got a call at 2am from my grandmother. Right when I heard the phone ring I knew. It only got harder from there. I saw the different sides of my family members along with seeing how they grieved during this time. When all of this was happening I found it easier for myself to be around my family and friends, but some of my family found it easier to be alone. Still to this day I’m still trying to process that he’s gone. I am still grieving. I believe that a person can grieve for how ever long they need to. Losing a pet, family member, or a friend isn’t easy, and it takes a really strong person to go through all the emotions of the process.
July 24, 2023 at 11:38 pm
What do I believe about grief and loss?
Haylee Stanford
The loss of a best friend, family member, or in general just an important person in your life, can change your whole world upside down. Without this person or maybe even an animal, you may feel lost or torn into different directions without the reliance of said loved one. Not to mention all of the different emotions piled up combining with the natural grief, can change your whole perspective. I believe throughout life it is important that we experience grief and loss on account of them being such strong emotions that teach us numerous things. The heartbreaking reactions that are occuring, can change which path you were planning on taking throughout your life. It can teach you countless of different lessons, and open your eyes to realize never take things for granted. We all grieve differently. You could lose the same person. Both be crushed, but grieve in opposite ways. In each relationship that’s lost and experiences grief will be unique because each relationship you share is unique. I believe that people who have experienced many losses in their life are one of the emotionally strongest people you will meet. They have had multiple ends to each path, and started over with new ones, a great deal of times. It is a whole new experience with each loss. With each day it may also be a new experience by virtue of each day being a different obstacle. I believe you become braver to face each choice and learn how to function in fear, sadness, and grief. The rage you feel because the sadness is so deep down within, it covers every inch of your body, changing your entire purpose. What you thought you knew about yourself and what you learned is no longer true. Now everyday is a colossal fight and you are forced to relearn and reteach yourself your new motive. I believe grief and loss is a whole life lesson in itself, an experience no one wants to go through, and the biggest life changing sequence of events, thoughts, and feelings one can ever withstand.
July 26, 2023 at 8:08 pm
What Do I believe about Grief + Loss.
Grief and loss are two experiences that are an inevitable part of the human experience. While they can be incredibly difficult to navigate, I believe that they also offer us an opportunity for growth and healing. When we experience loss, we are forced to confront our emotions and work through them. This can be a painful process, but it is also an important one.
One of my core beliefs about grief and loss is that it is important to acknowledge and work through our emotions. When we try to suppress our emotions or push them aside, they can fester and grow. This can lead to long-term emotional and psychological issues. Instead, I believe that it is important to allow ourselves to feel our emotions, even if they are difficult. This can include things like crying, journaling, or talking to someone we trust. By acknowledging and working through our emotions, we can begin to heal.
Another belief that I hold about grief and loss is that it is a process that is unique to each individual. There is no “right” way to grieve, and everyone experiences loss differently. Some people may feel sadness, while others may feel anger or confusion. It is important to be patient with ourselves and to allow ourselves to grieve in our own way and in our own time.
Finally, I believe that it is important to seek out support when we are going through a difficult time. This can include support from friends and family, as well as from mental health professionals. Talking to someone who understands what we are going through can be incredibly helpful, and can help us to feel less alone in our grief.
In conclusion, grief and loss are experiences that are an inevitable part of life. While they can be incredibly difficult to navigate, I believe that they also offer us an opportunity for growth and healing. By acknowledging and working through our emotions, allowing ourselves to grieve in our own way and in our own time, and seeking out support when we need it, we can begin to heal and move forward.
This is what I believe about grief + Loss
Yanshkielys Montanez.
July 27, 2023 at 12:57 am
What is grief, if not love persevering?
When we lose someone we love, where does all the love we once felt go? It becomes our grief. Our love for that once loved person continues with us every single day since their passing. The full meaning and definition of grief is the normal response to a major loss, such as the death of a loved one. Grief may also be felt by a person with a serious, long-term illness or with a terminal illness. It may include feelings of great sadness, anger, guilt, and despair.
As someone who has been no stranger to losing loved ones this is also a feeling I am no stranger to. After experiencing the loss of my grandfather, after watching him deteriorate from lung cancer for over a year before and then beforehand losing my godmother, my uncle, my grandmother and my grandfather on my moms side. Grief has always been a constant feeling I’ve experienced in my life but I feel this now more than ever with all of the life changes I have to endure without them whether it was my high school graduation, buying my first car, or turning 18. Everything feels as if these moments are now just sore reminders that they aren’t here to share or make these new memories with me. The grief has faded but still lingers, now I just simply just miss them. I miss my grandfather and the way he was always a goofball, always smiling, always joking around, even while in treatment he would smile around us. I miss my loved ones so much it can be suffocating and paralyzing at times but I know they would yell and berate me for even wasting my life for a second. I now live my life while simply continuing to love them.
August 7, 2023 at 11:34 pm
I totally relate to this. Having my grandparents miss all of these key big moments in my life and my future make me upset. Although I still feel the sadness in these moments for missing them , I have to see the bright, and love them unconditionally wether they’re here or not.
July 27, 2023 at 10:07 pm
I believe grief is human; it is proof you had something so beautiful in your life that its absence is sorrowful. Feeling grief is imperative for the human spirit to exist. Grief comes in waves, all at once, after a few years, or is gently present at all times. Grief is unique.
Loss is unique. We all lose something at some point in our life. We grieve the loss of a championship in our T-Ball league at five years old. We grieve the loss of a lover to someone else. We grieve the loss of our mothers and fathers and grandparents when nature comes to call them home. But, the pain is personal and varies in degree. Like grief, it’s inescapable and will always creep its torturous fingers around our hearts and squeeze.
But without grief, there would be no human experience. Without loss, there would be nothing to have and nothing to cherish, to hold. Without pain, there would be no joy. What is joy without knowing what its opposite is? Why would we travel, smell the flowers, eat our favorite chocolates, and tend to relationships, if we would not find woe in a life without them?
Grief is always due to some kind of loss. And it hurts. Grief will rot, mold, and fester in one’s soul until it’s agony to take another breath. It will crawl all over the body and imbed its stingers into every inch of your flesh, as it consumes you, because at some point, it will.
But one day, out of the puncture wounds where grief once stabbed you, a flower will appear. A kind of blooming, healing, and rebirth will emerge. Grief, one day, will no longer be a sting from a wasp, when it returns, but the gentle touch of the wings of a butterfly on your arm. The memory of loss won’t be a crushing ache, but of appreciation for the moments we had before it was gone. So, there will be joy instead of pain, and we will travel the world, hug our families, and eat the chocolates.
Camryn Rezendes
August 13, 2023 at 7:29 am
Julia Harrison
You are a beautiful writer. I deeply enjoyed learning about what you believe about grief because it put it into a new perspective. New perspectives are important to me because all I want to do is learn, to understand and develop reasoning for more complex emotions. And this was a good one. It’s true, we all grieve everything. We grieve our broken iPhones and the money we spend to get a new one. But we also grieve losing the people we’ve loved our entire lives. Grief is a spectrum that we cannot control no matter how much we anticipate. It isn’t fair. But you’re right, we cannot find joy if that’s the only thing we experience. Happiness would become mundane. Boring. Our recovery and the happiness we find in shedding that dead layer of skin is enlightening. Finding happiness when you know true sadness is amazing.
July 30, 2023 at 12:15 am
Elizabeth R.
Grief + Loss
I believe that grief and loss are part of life, and it should not hinder me from moving forward. With each hardship I face, I will learn something new about myself and the people around me. With every challenge arise a new test of my resilience, patience, strength and perseverance. Through these experiences of overcoming obstacles, I will come to understand that real growth is built on these bricks rather than the successes I’ve achieved.
I have lost my grandmother due to pancreatic cancer, and through her passing, I have learned to be more grounded and to appreciate the little things in life. Her loss has made me realize that life is short and precious, yet fragile at the same time. This knowledge has compelled me to never take a day for granted and strive for my goals with vigor despite any setbacks I may encounter along the road.
No one in this world was intended to live indefinitely, and no one was intended to pass away fast either. Although each of us has a purpose and a goal in life, various medical issues may affect that. As stated by Heidegger, death is a way of being the human reality that assumes, as it is: “As soon as we are born, we are old enough to die.” ~ Martin Heidegger. As a mortal defected by this form, which somewhat restricts my skills, I’ll make the most before the coffin.
July 31, 2023 at 5:57 pm
. Grief has five main stages such as Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, and Acceptance. Grief will always be an inevitable part of the human experience. Recognizing the 5 stages of grief will provide better insight on the matter and its healing process.
Denial is the feeling of presuming that something is untrue. Denial is mostly used as a defense mechanism that shields those who are overwhelmed with the reality of loss or those who refuse to acknowledge it. It is believed that it is one of the upmost hardest things to deal with as a human being. A lot of individuals act like they don’t have the right to feel the first stage of grief. Denial is very real and shouldn’t be kept in for a long amount of time. Keeping a feeling in so complex, will be harder to expect the very true and harsh reality.
Anger is the more convoluted stage when referring to grief. During this phase, more individuals than others begin to experience resentment, frustration, and bits or rage. With these emotions, it’s hard to accept the harsh reality around them. They may direct their animosity towards themselves, others, or even the individual that is no longer with us. This heart-wrenching response can be difficult to maneuver, as it may lead to a different territory of behaviors and reactions that can be unpredictable. However, anger is a volatile part of the grieving process as it allows individuals to process their agony and heartache in a way that makes sense for them.
Bargaining is a stage that refers to the individual at hand attempting to negotiate with a higher power or explore ways to find a replacement for the at-hand situation. They make promises to this “power” and in return, hopefully the undoing of their tragedy and their pain. Bargaining is a natural response to the inordinate emotions of grief as people pursue to gather their sense of control for their lives. However, understanding the bargaining stage is not all about the attempts will yield the desired outcome. It’s important that acceptance is necessary during the measure.
Depression is the stage where individuals may feel overwhelmed by a deep sense of sadness, loneliness, and despair. They may remove themselves from social interactions and struggle to find happiness or interest in activities they used to enjoy. Intense feelings of isolation and helplessness may become more conventional as they come to terms with their loss. While going through this stage can be challenging, it’s a natural response to a serious loss and a significant part of the grieving process. It’s extremely important for individuals experiencing this stage to seek support and understanding from loved ones.
Acceptance is the stage that can be let go. After denial, anger, bargaining, and depression, individuals will eventually come to terms with their deep loss. Acceptance does not necessarily mean that the pain is completely gone, but it rather signifies the change in the person’s perspective and emotional response. They begin to acknowledge the reality of the situation and find ways to adapt to the new circumstances. This stage is for seeking closure, letting go of the frustrations and resentment, and finding a sense of serene. This will allow them to move forward with their lives.
After the death of my father at the age of 16, it was really hard for me to accept. Even though he wasn’t in my life too much, I still felt a sense of responsibility and guilt. I’ve learned that his death does not define me no matter how hard that even really hit me. Although the pain isn’t completely gone, I am happy to say that I’m okay.
August 1, 2023 at 3:06 am
Sydney L
I believe grief and loss is one of the hardest things a person can go through in life. All people experience grief differently.I have experienced different types of losses in my life from losing close friends because of a fallout to the deaths of family members. The hardest losses are the ones that are unexpected. In February of last year I received the news that my uncle passed away suddenly. I was completely in shock of the news I had just heard and was in so much emotional pain and all I wanted was for him to just come back to us. I was mad at the world for taking him away from me and my family. The pain me and my whole family suffered is a pain that I do not wish on anyone. The healing step after his passing is an ongoing process for me and I’m still learning how to live my life without him. His passing really showed me that life is too short and to not take anything that I have for granted. I was hit with the realization that not everyone is close with their family and it made me appreciate that my family is special because we were all grieving his loss together. None of us were alone in that initial healing stage. I also think that his passing brought us closer together as well. As much as his passing hurt everyone in my family, especially my grandmother, it helped us all see the true joy he brought to everyone in our family as well as it brought to everyone that knew him. He truly was the light of all of our lives and he truly loved everyone he knew. My biggest takeaway from him passing is to cherish all the moments I have with my family and not take anything for granted.
August 1, 2023 at 10:27 pm
Hunter G.
Grief is typically associated with the death of someone you are close to. I always believed this was the true definition of that word, but I could not have been more wrong. Over time, I have learned that grief is the brain’s way of tolerating an event that traumatizes you. It sticks with you and manages to find a way to change your perspective on life.
My grandparents are key role models in my life. They have always been there to give me tough love and support every decision I made. They have recently been growing older and slowly losing their physical and mental capabilities. I wanted to shut myself out and pretend that my relationship with them was not taking a nosedive.
My grandfather and I have been best friends since I was born. He always loved and treated me like a little prince. Last winter, I visited him and noticed that he was forgetting things. I didn’t think much of it at first, but the trend of him forgetting things has not slowed down; it has only sped up. I refused to believe he had dementia because he was my papa. How could life be that unfair to me? He took a long trip to watch me graduate recently, but when I first saw him, he didn’t greet me the way he had since I was a baby. I have lost my best friend, who struggles to remember who I am.
The loss of my grandfather’s memory has shown me that our time in this world is finite and that we must make every moment we have with the people around us precious. Grief is funny in that it is a profoundly miserable time that one must put themselves through, but it is an excellent moment of self-realization. We will all eventually lose things and people we care about, but without grief, we cannot cherish our memories.
August 2, 2023 at 1:13 am
Ava Costa
Grief + Loss
Grief is an intricate and universal emotion experienced by individuals in response to loss or significant life changes. Traditionally, grief is associated with the death of a loved one, but it can also stem from various non-death related events. Exploring the concept of navigating grief without someone dying, shedding light on the diverse circumstances that can trigger this emotional process. I have never had someone close to me die or at least someone that cared about me. Yet, I have been through the five stages of grief. The fear of someone leaving me or thinking that I am not enough has always had a dark cloud hanging over me. Through denial and isolation, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance these stages have showed me just how much the people around me matter to me.
While death-related grief is widely recognized, non-death related grief often goes unnoticed or misunderstood. It can be triggered by a multitude of experiences, such as the loss of a job, a cherished relationship, a pet, a dream, or even a sense of identity. I have lost every single one of these things. Even if I did not try to it still happened. Yet, there was nothing I could do but watch my life slowly crumble. Even positive events, like starting a new job or making new friends, can still trigger the grief of what it is like to not have someone around. Imagine knowing that the person is still alive yet you have no contact to get to them. All of those positive events cannot be shared with the one person you want.
Non-death related grief manifests similarly to death-related grief, encompassing a range of emotions such as sadness, anger, guilt, denial, and bargaining. However, because these experiences are less recognized as grieving processes, individuals going through non-death related grief may feel isolated or ashamed of their emotions, making it crucial to raise awareness and foster understanding. No matter how many times I tried to explain it to others they would never understand the true pain of it.
Navigating grief without someone dying can be a more complex process as there is often no formal closure associated with these situations. With death, there is a concrete finality, and rituals like funerals and memorial services provide an opportunity to mourn and bid farewell. In non-death related grief, closure might not be as apparent, leading to a prolonged and ambiguous emotional journey. I never got a final goodbye or a way to still see them without them seeing me. I am in constant fear of running into them and not knowing what to say or do.
Grief is a complex emotion that extends beyond the loss of life. Non-death related grief can emerge from a variety of life circumstances and, although less acknowledged, deserves compassion and understanding. Coping with this form of grief can be challenging, but by acknowledging emotions, seeking support, and engaging in self-care, individuals can navigate this emotional journey and emerge stronger. As a society, we must recognize and support those going through non-death related grief, offering empathy and validation as they confront the intricacies of loss and change.
August 7, 2023 at 10:57 pm
Lily M.
Grief + Loss
Grief and Loss are profound human experiences that shape our perception of life forcing us to confront the fragility of our existence. Losing a loved one is something that happens to everybody eventually, it’s a part of the human experience, but at the same time we still feel so alone. When it happens the immense and unique pain overcomes us. The hurt can make you feel alone, when in reality it is a common challenge everybody faces. Why do we feel so deep in grief when we lose someone? Why can’t we just see the bright side, or the growth you might get from the experience? Why is death so hard to talk about with other people when literally everybody has experienced it, it’s literally the most not unique form of trauma.
Having lost all of my grandparents I find myself with a void in life that is hard to fill. I lost my Memere and Pepere all within 5 weeks of each other, during my senior year of high school. All the things I’d want them to see me do; for example graduate, go to prom, get accepted into college, are all things that they missed. The only people that I could feel validated from, the only people I wanted to make proud, I couldn’t even say “I did it”. This has left me in black cloud for some time. Although I’ve faced the reality of their absence, I still don’t understand why I can’t get over it. Why I’m so mad and jealous that my grandmother could see my cousin get married and not me. However I haven’t let this dark cloud overcome me, as I’ve tried to take this as a growing experience. Although the pain of their absence still lingers, and I find myself yearning for their presence, warmth and guidance, I needed to understand that the depths of grief could be a transformative power in me.
While grief is often associated with pain and sorrow, it also has the potential to facilitate personal growth and transformation. Through the process of mourning, we learn to navigate the complexities of our emotions, gaining a deeper understanding of ourselves and the world around us. Grief becomes a catalyst for introspection and self discovery, allowing us to redefine our priorities, cultivate resilience and cherish every fleeting moment of joy.
While grief and loss are profound and complex experiences that touch every core of our being, through personal experience and reflections and can understand that grief is not a linear process, but a transformative journey that can reshape our understanding of life. It is through this journey of emotions and self reflection that we learn to honor the past, embrace the present and find hope for the future. While the pain of loss may never dissipate, it is in the depths of grief that we discover our own capacity for resilience, compassion and growth.
August 9, 2023 at 7:45 pm
Katelynn Sullivan
How do you live when you know that all lives have to end? That is the question that I ask myself every day. My grandmother has been fighting cancer for 40 years. First, it was only breast cancer, then spinal cancer, then brain cancer, each affecting her more and more. Slowly, she stopped being the person I once knew. She has been with me my whole life and was a single mother like my mom. She looked after me while my mom worked and cared for our house. I grew used to seeing her up and about, but she slowed down. She was deteriorating and in pain. Slowly, she could do less and less. Slowly she was in the hospital more. Each time I thought, “It’s ok, she will bounce back like she always does.” and I was right. Each time she has come back, but after each time she was changed. She was getting more confused, she started to not recognize me or my family. But she promised me she would see me to my graduation and my 18th birthday. The day after, she was in the hospital again, completely comatose. I looked at her and wondered if that would be the last time I would see her. She is still alive on the day of writing this, but I am scared of the grief I know I will feel when it is time for her. How can I live like this not knowing if my loved one will wake up the next day? I am excited about my future, but I am also terrified of this world without her. I wish I could freeze time and have her with me forever. But I know that could never happen. Everything has to go and I know she does too.
August 9, 2023 at 8:58 pm
Grief and loss are two common things that happen in life depending on the circumstances that can change lives drastically. Whether it’s losing a pet, a family member, depression and so much more the mind and heart can make you feel as if you lost everything and have nothing and no one when those aren’t the circumstances. In my situations of loss and grief I’d say the worst I’ve ever felt had to be the evening of June,16th, 2021 my mother called me crying and screaming to tell me that my grandmother had passed away. That shook my world and brought everything downhill in an instant. She had cancer for many years and had been fighting it but in the end she just couldn’t pull through. It broke me to points no one could see I just told everyone I was okay nothing was wrong but in my head was torture I couldn’t eat or sleep for weeks didn’t want to do anything but stay in bed. As the time went on I was able to understand that the person who helped my mom raise me and loved me for who I am became my guardian angel in the sky guiding me through life. As I go through life now without her some days harder then others I know she’d still want me to push through and accomplish everything I dream of, knowing she still watching over me and I will continue to keep pushing through even though I miss her dearly the loss of her can’t make me give up but make me stronger to keep pushing through life appreciating each an every moment with my loved ones.
August 13, 2023 at 5:18 am
I really appreciate you sharing your belief on grief and loss and I agree with the fact that you should push through life because they would want you to. Even though they are not actually with you they will always be watching over you and supporting you
August 12, 2023 at 4:18 pm
Samantha Haley
I believe that no matter how close you are to the person you lost in your life..it’s still a loss. Losing someone will never be easy. I’ve lost people in my life before. Even people Ive been close to before. But this time, it was so different.
I walked downstairs the morning of January 15, 2022. I walked into the living room. I saw the look on my mom’s face. I knew it. I knew something was wrong. What she was about to tell me would make me drop to my knees.
“Sam, Kendra just called me, it’s Aunt Emily, She passed last night.”
I sank to my knees. I was supposed to see her in a week for the first time in about 7 years. She was fighting her battle for so long.
See, grief changes a person, but a sudden death of a 37 year old that we didn’t think would pass?.. That hurts even more. From that day forward everything I do is for Emily . Her goal in life was to help people. She served 2 tours, Iraq and Afghanistan. She helped people every single day. She was so influential to society she even has a boat named after her that will be patrolling the waters of the South Shore.
I could’ve let her passing derail everything i’ve worked so damn hard for. I’ve had my own battles. Instead I took it as a sign to keep on fighting. To make everything I do in her honor. She had worked so hard to make the world a better place for me to not do the same.
I guess if you wanna be honored get a bunch of high school students to build you a boat and name it after you …news flash it attracts a lot of positive attention.
Putting into words how Emily’s death made me feel has been so hard. I’m serious it took me almost 2 weeks to write 300 words. It didn’t take me that long because i can’t write or i don’t know how to feel. It took me so long because she deserves the absolute best. Weather it’s honoring her with a boat, donating money to help victims of abuse in the military or writing 300 words about her. We might not have been the closest but that wasn’t without reason. She tried so hard to be close to all us kids even while fighting her own battles. She was an inspiration to every single one of us. She has a legacy that will follow all of us
August 13, 2023 at 3:52 am
Claudia Tino
Grief and loss, two words I wish I never had to experience. Two words that are inevitable in an existence where it feels like it must be felt to appreciate happiness and what one does have. These two words do not simply embody death but embody the loss of anything we hold dear to us. However, I first felt grief and loss at an extreme measure a year ago.
I lost two cousins in a car accident. This was a time in my life where I felt a mix of emotions which took over my mind and body. This opened my eyes to how fragile life is. This was the first time I was ever introduced to what grief was. The first couple of weeks I felt sort of numb, reality didn’t feel real. As time went on life began to feel real again. I felt a wave of sadness consume me mixed with anger. However, the following day I would be filled with so much happiness.
I came to the realization grief is an emotion that does not come with a set date or time. A smell, sound, or voice can trigger emotions that bring memories back and without notice the tears begin to fall.
After this event I realized how important it is to make memories, healthy and happy ones. This event allowed me to learn how to appreciate life and love those around us everyday. I think it is important as a society we need to stop living with so much pride and anger. It’s important we live everyday with love and kindness in our heart as it is the best way to live life in a world with so much loss and grief.
August 13, 2023 at 5:15 am
Grief and loss are two things in the world that I believe are unescapable. No matter who your are or the circumstances you are born into, you will experience grief or loss sometime in your life. Wether that be a loved one, a friend, or your favorite actor or actress from a TV show, you will lose someone and it will hurt. There are many different ways to cope with grief; you can hide and pray that the pain from them leaving goes away (which it won’t) or you can face it head on and push through rather than letting it hold you back.
About two years ago, I had lost my grandmother to cancer. She was one of my favorite people in the entire world. Every chance I got I would go over to her house a play card games with her because it made her so happy. She was the light at the end of a very dark tunnel that you could just turn to whenever you needed to. She was there for me when my parents were fighting about getting a divorce and when one of my ex boyfriends cheated on me. What I am trying to say is she was my rock and losing her was like losing my safe place. After she was gone, I didn’t know what to do because if I had lost anyone else, she would have been the person I would have gone to for comfort. The days leading up to her death were difficult for me. I knew she was getting worse and it sucked seeing the light in her slip away. As the days passed it became hard for me to be around her because it sucked seeing such a different type of person in place of my grandmother. I stopped visiting as a whole and that was probably the worst decision of my life.
They say there are five stages of grief that you will go through until you have finally healed and I believe that now.Stage 1: Denial-When I came home from work one day my parents told my to sit down because they needed to talk. I already knew that she was gone before they even finished their sentence. I couldn’t believe it or I didn’t want to.I kept screaming that its not true or why did they have to take so soon and I think I cried for a solid two hours straight because I thought I would never feel safe again because my safe place was stolen from me. Stage 2:Anger-There were so many days that I kicked myself and hating myself that I let my own feelings get in the way of spending the mere days my grandmother had with her. I let my own emotions from being there. Stage 3: Bargaining-I just wanted her back and somedays I had wished that it was me instead of her. She was just a good person all around and I felt that the world would be a better place if she had stayed and I had gone. Stage 4:Depression-She died in the middle of one of my school vacations and for the next 4 days I stayed in my room the entire time barely eating or sleeping because the thought of living a life in a world without her hurt so bad there was no point of living it.My life didn’t mean anything to me because there was no place I felt safe. Stage 5:Acceptance-It took me a very long time to accept the fact that she was gone and I needed to live the life she would want me to live. I had to live my life for her. She would want me to be happy and she wouldn’t want me wasting time because as she showed me, the time we had left was limited.
I believe that grief and loss are needed in this world. I know that might sound harsh and people should live forever but grief makes you into the person you are meant to become. It makes you stronger, more resilient, and most importantly a survivor.
August 14, 2023 at 10:53 pm
Thank you for sharing your experience. I’m so sorry for your loss. I too lost my grandmother and it was the hardest thing i ever went through. I love how you said that grief makes you into the person you are meant to become. I feel that as the time passed I am slowly getting stronger and accepting the fact that she’s in a better place. Again thanks for sharing your story.
August 14, 2023 at 1:31 am
Makayla C
Grief and loss is an emotion that everyone goes through and unfortunately I experienced it at young age which has shaped me to be who I am today. Months before my 13th birthday, my father passed away from his long fight with cancer. He was first diagnosed when I was six years old and at the time I didn’t fully understand what was going on. As years went by, I started to realize what was going on and I knew eventually fun moments or memories with my father would come to an end. Whenever we had the opportunity we made sure to live life to the fullest. Eventually when my father passed, most of my time was spent mourning the grief and loss of my father. This was a difficult time because I was going through 7th grade without my father by my side. School and events were missed a lot because my motivation was gone. Although I still had my brothers and mom, there is nothing that has felt complete sense his passing. One of the last goals my father had for me before his passing was that he wanted me to graduate Greater New Bedford Regional Vocational Technical High School. It took me a few months to get back to school, but I realized I had to push forward to complete this goal of graduating GNBVT. Years later, I surpassed my father’s goal by graduating GNBVT, and I’m now entering college for my dream field in Nursing. Without this grief and loss I wouldn’t have the motivation I have today to become the Nurse I want to become and help people, as the nurses helped my family year’s ago. Nevertheless, never let your emotion get in the way of your goals, instead turn it into a reason to keep on pushing forward.
August 14, 2023 at 2:08 am
Jacob B.
Before the loss of my uncle, I had never experienced loss. Sure, I lost a fish or two, but that was about it. I had never been to a funeral or a wake, and only heard about other people’s experiences with it, and though I felt for them, I never really understood what they were going through. That was until my uncle died in 2021. He died in the hospital following complications from a stroke that he had experienced. When my mom told me this, I had no response. I didn’t know how to react. Was she lying? It couldn’t be possible. My favorite uncle, no longer living with us on this earth. The shattering truth of this fact didn’t hit me for a long time. Hearing my mom plan the wake with my other uncle and her parents broke my heart, but I still didn’t understand. We got to the day of the wake, and all that was left of him was an urn. It was a beautiful urn, crafted specifically for him, and it was amazing. There were photos of him and my mom and other uncle when they were kids. I tried to hold back tears, but I broke a couple of times. It was okay, though, family and friends alike were all going through the same thing. But even then, standing in that room, hearing my family talk about his life, I didn’t understand. But standing above his favorite fishing spot, with his ashes in my hand, hearing my grandfather tell the man handing out the ashes that he wasn’t ready to hold them. That’s when I understood. When I scattered his ashes into the lake, that’s when I understood. He wasn’t coming back. I needed time, and I got it, for which I am grateful. I cherished the times that we had together, but there’s still that part of me that wishes I could have shared my first beer with him, or gone on an awesome ride in my grandfather’s old 1953 Triumph TR3 with him. I just wanted one last chance to talk to him, because I never got to say goodbye, and that’s what will stick the most. I love him so much and it hurts so much that he isn’t here, but I’m glad that I get better every day.
August 14, 2023 at 10:23 pm
I’m sorry for your loss Jacob. I know it can be hard to lose one of the closest people to your family and to you. You seem like a pretty strong person so I know you’ll push through and make your uncle proud.
August 14, 2023 at 6:51 pm
Maya M.
When you lose someone, you can feel as though a part of you went missing in the day that they left. You feel trapped like your body is unable to escape the grief that has taken ahold of your life. Even though family and friends before you have felt this way before it doesn’t make you feel any less alone. That is how I felt and still sometimes feel to this day. I had never experienced a loss so close to me. I’ve had people in my family pass away, but I didn’t truly know them, so it was hard for me to grieve them. Although it was sad, I’d never felt that hole in my heart like the day I lost my friend. Grief seems to be an understatement to what I had gone through, it seemed to me like my whole life had turned upside down. I felt alone even though I was surrounded by support and people who understanded me. But as time passed, they believed that I was done grieving but till this day her death has affected me. I still think about how life would be with her. I believe that it is normal to never truly stop grieving. Grieving is not just about sadness; it is about celebrating their life every day that they are not with you. Some people believe that you should move on from a loss quickly, because maybe it makes it easier for them to deal with their grief. They push the thought of the person they lost out of their mind hoping the pain will go away. Yet that never truly works. I believe to fully come to terms with losing a loved one is to celebrate the time you had with them and cherish the memories because only then you can see their life as it was and not how it ended so soon.
August 14, 2023 at 10:20 pm
Cory C.
Growing up in the early stages of my life I never understood what grief was. As I have gotten older I slowly started to understand the meaning of the word, while also getting prime examples of what loss is like. A word I would use to best describe how I usually feel after a loss is more like “Despair” rather than grief.
During my High School years I ended up losing 3 of my childhood friends to acts of gang violence in 1 year. I recently also Just lost an uncle and big cousin due to health issues and a seizure. I feel like the more you lose, the more you start to understand and cherish life and the ones around you way more than you thought you ever would. I think about my friends and family everyday when I have the thoughts of quitting football, but they all support me so much in what I want to do alongside my dreams. Seeing my mother cry over family and friends she wises she was there for just filled me with so much grief. I used the grief and loss as more of a chip on my shoulder rather than an excuse to be angry and hate the world. I use football as an outlet for all those inhumane emotions I feel. At times I sit back and have those “what if” thoughts that cloud my judgement, but I know that all of them are guiding me on this path called life and making sure I’m taking the right steps to success, but I wish I could have talked to them one more time, or hug them again, or tell them I loved them again. Not being able to say goodbye to any of them sticks with me forever, but all I can do now is try and do my best to make them and the rest of my family proud on and off the football field. As a player and a young man.
August 23, 2023 at 4:19 pm
I agree with your statement about cherishing life and the ones around you. Everything can change so quickly and in a short period of time. Finding something that you love such as football to focus all those emotions into to help you deal with those changes is amazing and I find myself doing the same with cheerleading. Athletes who’s mind and body are in tune with their sport are often better at it, and I noticed my improvements in the sport since I started doing that. I hope the same has happened for you and I hope your family’s proud.
August 14, 2023 at 10:42 pm
Carrington L.
I believe grief and loss can be one of the most difficult feelings people experience in life. There are five stages of grief; denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. Many people cannot get past certain stages and for me it was the depression stage.
In 2021 I lost a big part of me, my grandmother. She was the sweetest, most loveable person you could ever meet. She always looked out for others, making sure everyone had a full belly. She helped raise me since I was born and made me feel like the most special person in the world. When she got sick, the roles were reversed. Now I was the one taking care of her.
The day she came home from the hospital it was very difficult to accept the fact that her time was coming. For the next couple of weeks before she passed, I spent as much time as I could with her. I tried to make her feel as comfortable as possible, fed her, talked to her, and made her feel like she was the most special person in the world, because she was.
The day that she passed was the most heartbreaking experience I had ever had to deal with. I never felt so lost in my life. It was the first time I had ever lost someone this close to me. I didn’t know how to express how I was feeling. The main emotion I kept letting out was anger. It didn’t make it any easier that at the same time I lost good friendships with people who were once close to me. Dealing with her being gone made it harder, because I felt like I didn’t have anyone to confide in that was close to my age.
To be quite honest I have not accepted the fact that she is gone yet, but I feel myself getting closer. I did go through the earlier stages of grief. I didn’t want to believe that a person could be here one minute, then gone the next. Everything in my house reminds me of her. I can still feel her presence at times, which gives me comfort. As the time passes, I am slowly opening up to people about my depression since losing her. It definitely has been a rough path, but I am getting through it.
Never take a person’s life for granted because you will never know if today will be their last. I’m grateful for my parents and my brother who I was able to confide in when I was having a tough time. Grief or loss can make anyone feel like they can’t move on, but don’t ever think you can’t get past it. Always reach out to someone close to you or a counselor for help.
August 14, 2023 at 11:31 pm
Janiah V.
Grief and loss. Two words with such powerful feelings and meanings behind them. Grief is defined as “The natural emotional response to the loss of someone close.” Since I was about 5 years old my lifes been surrounded by it. Just in the past four years I lost three of the most important people in my life. One of which was my adoptive father who raised me into the woman I am today. Losing someone who made a huge impact in your life is rough but in my opinion the aftermath is what hits the hardest. What I mean is after a while it feels like people forget what happened. Everyone goes back to their normal everyday lives. Then suddenly you are left alone drowning in your own feelings and thoughts. They say time heals and I agree. But what isn’t said is that there is a part of you that feels empty as if the person you lost took that piece of you with them. At the end it changes you. All you can do is take the lessons and memories they gave you and use it for good. Losing my father taught me to become strong and cherish life. To see the good in the world instead of the bad. The grief and loss I went through gave me the motivation to enjoy life and make something out of it. I have them to thank for it and this perspective. They motivated me to pursue this career path.
August 15, 2023 at 11:33 pm
We are in this together everyone in this blog categorize has proved enough and are so strong including you and what you said just gave me a boost of motivation.
August 15, 2023 at 2:13 am
Grief can be consuming, overbearing, destructive and tends to make one lose focus of what truly matters. It can inhibit one from reaching accomplishments and setting goals. Grief can get you lost. However grief is not that simple. Grieving isn’t all negatives. Not in the slightest. Grieving is a complicated process and it normally differs between people, but one thing always remains constant. Grieving and mourning always has hidden positives that are normally quite difficult to see at first, but in time one may come to realize that as people, grieving creates connections, new families, new understandings. Bonds are created by the unfortunate close of one door, and working towards opening a new one, either that being alone and improving oneself due to a newly established self awareness and understanding of oneself or through pushing forward as a group in order to twist the handle, and seeing what one has to offer another. You may think that whatever it is that you are going through, that you are alone, isolated and sinking, but the truth is, you are never alone. There will always be someone else going through something similar. Help each other. Lift the ones around you up. Some people are good at hiding their emotions and grief, so it is best to be helpful and kind to everyone, as you never know when you will be the one in need. Grief and support come full circle. Grief shapes us into who we are.
August 15, 2023 at 11:25 pm
Janiah V
I 100% agree with you. I also don’t think grief is all negatives, that it also has a lot of positives. Especially speaking from experience going through all the stages of grief helped me become the person I am today. Without it I don’t know where I’d be. Very well said!
August 15, 2023 at 2:32 am
Sebron B.
I believe that loss is ultimately what leads to grief. Grief then builds people and their character. The more deeper and significant the loss is, the deeper the grief intends to weigh on that person. Whether it is the loss of a family member, a friend, a relationship, a pet, or a professional job. it will leave you feeling empty. When one loses someone close to them they start to think of all the memories that they had with that person and the last time they talked with them. It is truly overwhelming and depressing. I personally know what it feels like to lose a family member. I lost my grandfather in December of 2019 and the death of him weighed heavily on my mother more than it did on me and seeing her sad broke me for a couple weeks. It hurt a lot more for me because I didn’t get to talk to him as much as I wanted to because of certain issues going on. My mother and my grandfather were very close and till this day she still talks about how much she misses him. Many people say there are five stages of grief, denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. I personally think that not everyone may go through all five of the stages but definitely be affected by one of them. Denial is the action of declaring something to be untrue and people use this because they don’t want to accept the death of that person or the thought of losing them in their lives. Anger is a natural emotion that everyone experiences especially after the death of someone. Bargaining is offering to overall become a better person whether it’s doing more for others, donating, or in religious terms, turning to God for help to negate the loss of one. I see depression is something that ties right alongside with grief after a long period of time. Depression is an over longing of constant sadness that can occur from any circumstance, especially the loss of a family member or friend. Acceptance is the last stage, where one may not be able to get over that person’s death but they are able to move on and accept the loss into their lives. Adversity like the loss of someone close to us is what builds character, they start to become a part of your “why” or the reason you do what you do, and motivate you to keep pushing forward in life. Loss serves as a reminder to cherish those that you have in your life as well as being grateful to those that you consider family and friends. That is why I believe that ultimately loss leads to grief, but grief builds character.
August 15, 2023 at 3:35 am
Lexie P
Growing up I never understood why these people whom I’ve known my whole life would just disappear. I always new death was a thing, but I was too young to believe any of these people died. I had never felt the grief until around 12 years old. The house I grew up in, the house I stayed in every week when my mom went to work, the house where if my mom wanted a night out I would go too, until everything just fell apart. One morning my mom woke me up and as it felt like a normal day, it wasn’t. We got up and she drove me to my grandmothers it was my routine it was everything I knew. I got their with a huge smile on my face running through the door until I looked into her eyes and she was standing their crying. I couldn’t make out what happened and I kept asking her over and over again what was wrong. My mom came running in when she saw the look on my face as I turned around in the doorway. As my mom started to realize what was going on a million things had already entered my head. I walked around the yard holding my baby blanket waiting for anyone to tell me what was going on. Finally my grandmother came over to me and said ” Honey your great grandma died this morning”. If u didn’t know my grandmother lived with her mom to watch her and take care of her. As close as me and my gramma were so were me and my great grandmother. She always loved my company and how I could sit their and talk for hours. In that moment I realized as a little girl this is what the loss of someone takes from you. Our family handled all the grief by trying to show me that it was okay and I would be okay. So strong they all were for me. Your grief from somebody and your loss in your life really takes a toll on you when you finally understand what’s happening.
August 15, 2023 at 5:38 am
Grief and loss, a lot comes to mind when you think about the two words grief and loss. Grief causes sorrows, sadness, agony , deep pain, heartaches and could possibly be one of your first heartbreaks caused by the loss of somebody’s death.
Grief is not only sadness, it can also cause you to be angry to the point where you have so much build up anger with the world. you can feel numbness where you are just so overwhelmed with so many emotions and in so much distress you’re then numbed to the pain that you’re experiencing. out of feeling all emotions of sadness and anger and numbness, being denial is the biggest one of them all.
How do you come to terms with your person, somebody that you care about, deeply love, their voice, their existence… gone. How do you believe… how do you accept something that you don’t want to accept, believe. How do you process letting someone go, that you was never ready to let go.
Losing someone will never be easy and it will never be something you can fully get over without having the aching pain in your heart and that thought running through your head that they’re actually gone. It’s something that you can accept you can accept the fact that they’re gone but can you come to terms with the fact that they’re gone and you will never hear or see them again. Could you accept that, i know i couldn’t and i still haven’t.
I lost my father in 2022 it was the worst thing that i had ever experienced, it literally was a reality check and a wake up call for me. Losing him and dealing with the grief that i still deal with till this day had such a great impact on me. It changed me mentally, physically, emotionally. It made me look at so much things differently or only how i could’ve wished things went differently and i had more time with him.
Losing somebody physically, mentally, emotionally hurts but the grieving part of it all is definitely a reality check of your person being gone and you having to continue on without them even when it doesn’t feel right to do so. It dosen’t feel right to have to wake up and keep reliving a nightmare that your loved one is not here but it’s life and we tend to have to keep pushing to better ourselves to move on and not to move on from them but to move on from feeling so stuck, hurt and confused.
August 15, 2023 at 5:59 pm
Grief and loss can is different for everyone. Losing some can be life changing and you can pick up bad habits as a coping mechanisms losing someone can send you into a deep depression. They tell you there are five stages of grief denial,anger, bargaining,depression and acceptance for me when I lost my grandmother I went through the first three quick but I was stuck in that depression stages for two years and a little before her third death anniversary came up I started to accept it. But I also picked up a habit of smoking my problems away I know it’s not good but it helps me, it helps me feel numb to everything going on but that’s not all cause of losing my grandmother . I feel like no one talks about this but grieving someone who is alive is a real thing
August 15, 2023 at 4:35 pm
Sofia A
What do I believe about grief and loss?
I believe the feeling of losing someone is the most atrocious feeling I’ve ever felt. Whether it be a falling out, a breakup, or even as extreme as death. Regardless of how long you knew them or how you lost them it is always painful. I hate every part of the grieving process known as the 5 stages, which basically are there to give us a guideline on how to process grief. The thing is everyone handles grief differently. From dark jokes, lifestyle changes or to just let it all out. Sure, you can use it as a guideline and false hope but that doesn’t mean it’s actually going to help you. Loss is just horrible. I believe it’s something you never really get over. Although you may think you get over it, you don’t. You just forget about it, because life moves on with or without you. As time goes on that major thing will slowly become less significant, because you have other things to worry about. However, you never really fully forget something either. You’ll see something that reminds you of the person you lost and either go right back to that gut wrenching feeling of your initial grief, or maybe you will be ok and accept it. You realize that it’s ok to move on with life and there’s nothing you can do, so you shouldn’t let it stop you from enjoying life. I believe that life is unforgiving and unpredictable. That loss and grief will always find a way to slip into your life regardless of who you are or what you’re going through, but you’re not alone.
Everyone is going through something and there will always be someone to talk to. Although their experience may not fully mirror what yours was like, that doesn’t make theirs any less valid, or them any less capable of giving you the help you need.
August 15, 2023 at 4:39 pm
Eliana E.
As a child, I assumed it was impossible to feel loss. When I began to see all possible outcomes of loss, I thought, no way this would happen to me, at least not for a long time. My first impressions of loss, I imagined a toy, possibly a pet, or even losing a game of rock paper scissors; I felt invincible. It wasn’t until January 2023, where true loss had arose and my impression was changed in an instant. This January, the most important person in my life who I thought was going to be by my side forever, lost their battle to depression. This person was my mom. Now typically, I understand that loss is inescapable, it’ll happen. What I chose to believe was that my parents would be around for a long time, that nothing could ever happen to them. I thought wrong. Though I understand what loss means, I have yet to comprehend what true grief is. 7 months gone in the blink of an eye and my feelings have not been made any clearer. Should I be angry for the how, or sad about the why, should I blame myself for not seeing it or coming up with different solutions? Would I have been able to prevent it if I caught on sooner? Who knows. What I do know is that loss is unbearable, loss is tragic, loss is immense pain. On the other-hand, I am still in the process of learning the ways of grief.
August 16, 2023 at 1:43 pm
Thank you for sharing your story, Eliana. If you are looking to talk to somebody about your feelings of grief, the campus counseling center is open for students. More information is available here: https://www.umassd.edu/counseling/
August 15, 2023 at 6:08 pm
Like I was saying someone can be alive but not how they used to be and you are stuck grieving that old version so they cause they still in the same body but the mind is different and they not there for you like that used to everything about them have changed. In my opinion grieving some one that is alive hurts worse then some that is dead because the person that is dead you know you not gonna see them again but the person that is alive you can see them but you know that you don’t rock with them so it hurts especially when it’s a absent parent for me it’s my mom crazy thing is a live with her but she’s not a mom to me she just the person that gave birth to me. Another thing about grief is you can actually be Going through multiple stages at once cause one day you can be learning to accept it then the next you feel like you in denial again overall grief and loss can be very hard to deal with and very confusing
August 15, 2023 at 7:04 pm
Hannah B
What do I believe about grief and loss? Grief and loss is something that everyone will experience one day in their life. It’s a hard thing to cope with and I believe the pain never truly goes away. In my lifetime I have lost many family members, friends and pets. I still carry the pain from these losses but one is a burden that I think about every day. In March of 2020 just as the pandemic was beginning to get in full effect my grandmother got re diagnosed with cancer. It was a surprise to me because I hadn’t known about it the first time since it was cured so quickly. Since school was online and we weren’t supposed to see others we did quick visits which consisted of sitting outside on the grass and telling stories. As the weeks went by and those weeks turned to months she slowly got worse. Our weekly outdoor visits turned into watching grandpa bring grandma to and from the couch whenever she wanted to get up and move around. Always smiling through the pain so we wouldn’t treat her differently from how we used to. As the days of couch visits turned to one on one visits in her bed I knew her time was coming soon and it haunted me. Watching someone so lively slowly wither away was the worst thing imaginable. Not only are you losing this person, they are losing themselves. One cold morning in November I woke up feeling this rush throughout my body and instantly I just knew she was gone. It was a few hours later when my dad came home to tell us the news I had dreaded hearing. She was gone and there was nothing I could do but grieve the loss. The pain of this loss was unbearable as it was the first one I fully understood. As I still feel the pain from her passing I think about all our amazing happy memories. Grieving the loss of someone you were close to and loved is so incredibly hard. Although grieving the loss of someone is what’s solely on your mind for the first few days it is still important to carry on making fun happy memories in spirit of those that have passed. Something that I have carried with me in the spirit of my grandmother is her phone password. Hi 5 🙂 Something so small but so memorable in my heart that makes smile when I’m upset.
August 15, 2023 at 9:41 pm
Aayah S.
At the young age of 13 years old, we received an unsuspecting call; my father had been in a car accident. “It’s unlikely he’ll remember anything from before the accident,” the nurse informed us. My father was paralyzed from the waist down and diagnosed with dementia. The accident quickly changed my highschool plans. What was once a schedule filled with after school activities and friends was diluted to simply studying, taking care of my father and sister, and running the household while my mother worked a double-shift at the hospital most days. Some days, my mind traces back to feeding my father his dinner, when I would try to talk to him; to see if there was any semblance to the father I knew before his injury. “I got a 97 on my Biology quiz today. I’m glad all that studying paid off.” I said, waiting for pride, content, joy; any reaction to paint his painfully tired features. I knew I’d been too hopeful to think that one sentence could cure my father of his illness, but I didn’t care, grief and desperation clouding any logical thinking. But as he turned to face me, I was met with a brief glance, his eyes numb and cold, as though I were an unfamiliar face.
I began playing out conversations in my head with the recollection of who my father once was; his playful banter, unimaginable wit, and captivating storytelling brought to life only through memory, in place of his now usual, empty expression. My point, although rather short, is a simple reminder; preserve what you have before fate pulls its strings. I learned the importance of preserving memories after my father forgot ours; when my memories became the only meaningful way to interact with him.
August 15, 2023 at 9:47 pm
Peyton B.
My first experience with grief and loss was when I was five years old. I lost my mother in September, and while I know I went through the loss, I never really felt any of the grief side of it. I was only five and barely sentient in any meaningful ways, how was I supposed to mourn the loss of someone I barely knew? I didn’t even know what death was at the time.
So as I went through the years and listened to the comments said whenever my mothers passing was brought up, I always felt a bit confused. It always felt like the people around me felt the pain and grief of my mothers passing more than I did, though shouldn’t I have been feeling it the most? Not my teacher who learned on mothers day why I didn’t really want to make a card, or the strangers who always mistook my aunt or other female adult around me as my mother. Sometimes I wondered if I was doing it all wrong.
Grief is so complex, and changes from person to person. It never truly goes away either, though it shrinks or quietly merges into your very being until you learn to coexist with it, whether it be peaceful or not. I think in a way grief has become too simplified. Many think it’s certain stages in certain orders and certain lengths, and get more frustrated and hurt when their grief and healing doesn’t go the way they’ve been taught and told it would. Grief can be a blazing, raging inferno that starts suddenly and early one morning, and quietly dissipates a few nights later, it can be a long winding river that you feel keeps trying to drown you with no end in sight, and sometimes it can be a quiet apathetic buzzing around your heart and your head.
I believe grief is yours, not what others define it to be. I think the first step to healing is taking your grief, your experiences, and letting it guide you down your own path of healing. Everyone is different, and the positives and negatives make you who you are, so go with the flow.
August 15, 2023 at 9:54 pm
Richard M
Grief is the human reaction to losing a loved one. Specifically, deep sorrow, especially that caused by someone’s death. People can grief in different ways depending on how they are feeling and who they have lost. People can grief with anger, denial, and or guilt. Personally, I lost my father a few years back and the impact it had on my family was irreversible. Although his passing was sad and happened quickly, it was expected that he would die before growing old because of his unfortunate medical state and the way he treated his body it was bound to happen. The way I and many of my close family chose to grief was to accept that he had died not to give in to despair and sadness. Life would still go on for us and that he would want for us to live a long and eventful life. When he passed, as a form of mourning, I recalled all the memories we had made; “There is no pain so great as the memory of joy in present grief” -Aeschylus Grieving, although difficult, it is the only way to grow and move forward with life. My advice for people who are grieving is to allow yourself to feel. It’s okay to experience a range of emotions, from sadness to anger. Let yourself feel these emotions rather than suppressing them. Try to seek some support, reach out to friends, family, or support groups. Talking about your feelings can provide comfort and help you process your grief.
take care of yourself by focusing on physical and emotional well-being. getting enough sleep, eating nutritious foods, and engaging in activities that bring you joy is some of the best ways to get through grief.
August 15, 2023 at 11:24 pm
Luis Cruz
Grief+Loss Blog
I remember it just like it was yesterday. I can still hear my sisters piercing scream. I ran to her and moments later saw my mother’s body lying on the floor. Time stopped, my soul left my body and in that moment everything changed. I wish I would’ve gotten to say I love you one last time. It’s an ever lasting experience I wish upon no one. I think about the moment constantly. This didn’t just have an affect on me but my two siblings as well I wish I could just take all their pain away. At first I used to think to myself that it wasn’t fair why did it happen to me and started blaming myself and it made me want to give up. Then throughout the years as I matured I realized god gives his most difficult challenges to his mightiest soldiers. Which got me out of my slump and helped me get through high school and get into many different colleges that I never thought I could get into.
The loss of my mother impacted me in many ways. But I will not use it as an excuse to not succeed. Instead it’s motivation to be an example for others who may have experienced the same. That starts with getting an education.
I will become the First Generation College Graduate of my family. I will use this opportunity to make a difference in not only my life but the lives of others just like me.
September 6, 2023 at 1:50 am
I want to start off by saying I am so sorry for your loss. Your drive and determination is inspiring! I have gone through the loss of many important people in my life and I can relate to when you say the challenges God puts us through is definitely a vessel to be used to go through life and fight through it for the ones we have lost. I am also a first generation college student and I want to wish you the best of luck in this next step of life!
August 16, 2023 at 12:25 am
With another chapter of my life about to commence, it is important to reflect upon my own personal beliefs, which have guided me through my best of times, and through my worst of times. While I have many beliefs that assist me in my everyday life, perseverance and embracing challenges has always gotten me far in my personal and academic life, especially when dealing with the stresses of loss in my life.
Growing up, I was never a straight A student. I was never praised for my academic achievements, or congratulated when overcoming challenges. As I entered middle school however, I gained an interest in academics and for learning, thus I persevered and challenged myself. Throughout middle school, my life at home wasn’t easy. My parents were going through a divorce, causing me to be the center of every argument, and by the end of middle school I was with my dad couch surfing while my mom moved down south. On top of this, I watched as my dad struggled with addiction. No matter how difficult my life became, what got me through it was my heavy belief in perseverance and embracing challenges.
Finally, my life took a turn for the better. Throughout high school I continued to challenge myself while taking higher level classes and working full time, all while living with my grandparents. My struggles however continued when I suddenly lost my Papa in 2022. His memory has always been a guiding light for me, and with that memory I continue to believe in embracing challenges and perseverance. My love for academics continued as my work ethic grew, embracing the challenges that come with balancing academics and a career. No matter the challenges I have faced or am about to face, I always tell myself, “I can do it” and “I’ve got it.” Overall, I will use my belief of perseverance and embracing challenges to guide me through my time as a Corsair at UMass Dartmouth, and through whatever else comes next.
August 16, 2023 at 1:31 am
Grief & Loss
Not something you can say that will reach the ears of another who doesn’t understand. Grief is not something you get over, but something you continuously get through.
I lost my grandmother when I was around 7 and it completely changed my world. Grades slipped, motivation slipped, even my hope slipped. The realization that my role model, favorite star & the woman who was my embodiment of independence was gone really sunk in when the world fell into the apocalyptic chaos of Covid-19. As the world was in shambles I absorbed the loss of my grandmother, loss of the outside world, and loss of who I truly was and let myself fall into the abyss. Over the past two years I have learned how to cope with my loss and turn my mourning into motivation, but still I struggle with the losses that haunt me.
Grief is not a straight-forward sprint or easy battle, it is a marathon filled with twists, turns and hurdles. But don’t let it overcome your all, remember those you lost and honor them by succeeding in their honor.
August 16, 2023 at 2:03 am
Recently my grandmother on my dad’s side passed away from pancreatic cancer. Before this my cousin on my mom’s side passed away from a car crash. These events changed my family, on both halves. At first we were all in shock and did not know how to process these events. My cousin’s accident was a surprise to us all, and while we knew my grandmother would eventually pass, it surprised us how quickly it happened. For a long time, I , along with the rest of my family, struggled with how to proceed about these occurrences. I didn’t think we could ever get past all of this. We all were depressed and fought so much with each other. However, as time passed I realized something. Everyone in a person’s life, whether they pass or just leave, is temporary. Some people are in a person’s life longer than others, such as family, while others may not be there as long, such as grade school friends. Despite this, every person who enters a person’s life is meant to teach them something, how to cherish the time we have with each other. My cousin and my grandma may have passed away but the way our family is whole again is through remembering all the good they brought into our family and making new memories to cherish the ones we have left. Dealing with grief is never a straight path and I will obviously never completely forget about the passing of my loved ones, but I move forward through loving the ones I have.
August 16, 2023 at 2:19 am
What do I believe about grief and loss ?
I believe that grief and loss is a part of life that is simply unavoidable. Which is truly the only thing that is guaranteed in life and simply the hardest thing to ever experience. In every life, you have to grieve every loss, regardless of what or who you lost, either a pet, best friend, or family member, no matter how close they were to you. Everyone grieves in different ways, but it is healthy to grieve. As human beings, we suffer losses that are small and do not hurt as much. Some are big and hurt deeply. In all these instances of loss, pain and grief are experienced and an emotional wound is created which needs healing. Me, on a personal note, I have only experienced death with mostly pets that I have had. But I feel now that I have healed from these pains in life. There are five stages of grief that a person will go through until they have finally healed. Stage 1: Denial, Stage 2: Anger, Stage 3: Bargaining, Stage 4: Depression, Stage 5: Acceptance. Some of these stages are longer for some people and some of these stages are shorter for others. So I believe that grief and loss are needed in this world. I know that might sound harsh and people should live forever but grief makes you into the person you are meant to become. It makes you stronger, more resilient, and most importantly a survivor. But the feeling of grief and loss truly never goes away.
– Nathalya Benjamin
August 16, 2023 at 3:30 am
Ethan C
To me, grief and loss are difficult things to explain like the separation of parents but they could also be small things such as the passing of pets. To me, loss is when my cat, Fluffy. She died a year ago, I knew it was coming prior to her death but it still sent me wallowing in sadness. Loss could also mean losing something close to you or something you care a lot about but to me, the loss is my cat’s death. Along with loss, there is almost always grief. immediately after I was told of my cat’s death I thought things such as that it was my fault and that I should have spent more time with her. Grief to me is the realization of what you lost and what it actually meant to you. I was playing video games before I was told of her passing and after I had time to get my thoughts together I kept playing after the fact. I don’t know why I did but I did and then when I told my friends that my cat had died my friend Ike made a joke about my dead cat and I laughed and cried. I cried because I lost my pet something I considered a loved one but I also laughed. Why did I laugh I still do not know to this day maybe I’m heartless maybe I didn’t care about fluffy death maybe I just needed to laugh, but what I learned from that is when life goes on “You may feel like digging your heels in, but the flow of time waits for no one. It won’t patiently stand by as you grieve. ”-Kyōjurō Rengoku
August 16, 2023 at 3:32 am
Loss in inevitable, it will happen to all of us, this is the way I was raised to view death. Being raised around Buddhism, the idea of grief is seen as an attachment, something not to hold on to for too long so as to not allow it to control your life, and though grief is felt by all of us, I’ve come to believe that we can’t allow it to linger within us. It roots itself deep within you and causes suffering which can spread throughout our life. It has been hard for me to reconcile my views of loss and grief with the beliefs that are common in Europe and America. I empathize strongly with stories of loss, tragedy, and though my reactions to loss may be different or seen as cold to those who don’t know me well, I believe that this way to process grief and loss, allowing it to enter and leave, coming as it does in waves, has been just as effective of a mindset for me as different methods may be for other people.
August 16, 2023 at 3:37 am
I believe that grief is what love becomes without something to latch onto. My best friend passed away unexpectedly towards the end of December 2022. I hadn’t spoken to him in weeks, and the news of this loss broke me. I had wanted to grow up with him – we were both terrified of turning 18 and becoming adults, but took comfort in knowing we would at least have each other. Realizing that I would never get to see him grow old or that I’d never even get to respond to his last message was the worst feeling I have ever experienced. I have so much that I never got to say to him. I have so many regrets that I can never go back to fix. But what really hurts the most is the amount of love I have for him that he will never be able to receive.
I felt so incredibly hopeless and lost after his passing, but as time has gone on I have come to believe this: despite how it pains me, I am privileged to be able to hold this grief. It took a long time for me to accept it as such, but the fact that it aches so endlessly is proof of how important he was to me. His impact on my life will never be minimized or forgotten, and I get to keep the grief of his loss with me for the rest of my life – because it really is just all of the love and warmth I feel for him, transformed into something new.
August 16, 2023 at 3:54 am
Olivia A
When it comes to grief and loss the first thing I think of is how every single person in the world goes through it differently. Some people might find comfort in others or some people might find comfort only in themselves. I think it is a very fascinating topic to think about because emotions along with the people that go with them are unpredictable. Grief and loss in my opinion go hand and hand. What I mean by this is that after a person loses something or someone they go through the feelings of grief that come right after the loss. I think when you lose something a part of your brain or body never forgets it. For example, the brain never forgets how someone or something made you feel emotionally while your body will never forget how someone or something makes you feel physically. For myself, I am no stranger to these feelings of both grief and loss. Throughout my life, I had gone through these feelings before but when I was 13 I finally realized how strong these emotions are and how big of an impact they have on my everyday life. At 13 I lost my Dad after the holidays due to an unexpected heart attack. At that young I never really understood how to deal with such strong emotions in my life so I learned to keep to myself. I found comfort in myself and taught myself how to understand one of the most painful experiences of my life. As I look back on this event in my life, losing my Dad taught me so much about people and how they express themselves. For me, it made me more focused on my goals as an athlete and always strive to be great like my Dad taught me. I started to become more in tune with my emotions which then helped me achieve my goal to become a college athlete. My twin brother on the other hand became more in tune with things he did with our Dad like camping and Boy Scouts. While my sister focused on her work more than anything else. Grief can make you miserable but in my opinion, it’s all about what you do in your weakest stages of grief that help you understand what grief is and excel to be your best and heal.
August 16, 2023 at 3:58 am
Dylin P
I believe that grief and loss have very significant importance in everyone’s life. It allows us to reflect and take every precious moment we have with loved ones who are no longer present with us so that we are able to treasure it as much as we can. But it also allows us to venture back and collect every lesson given by them whether good or bad. It also grants us the ability to begin the healing process, so that we can accept and carry on with them not only in our thoughts but also in our hearts.
I view this way about grief and loss due to the passing of my grandmother due to the COVID-19 pandemic. My grandmother was the epitome of a grandmother. Her love was endless, she gave to others selflessly, and her faith in her religion was like no other. No matter what her door was always opened and she showed me what unconditional love was through all that she had done for our family. We were unprepared for her untimely death but have recalled so many great memories of her and will continue to share them for generations to come. It was tough, without having her here in my life anymore. I always expected my grandmother to be at the important events in my life such as high school graduation, entering college, et cetera, that she was somehow just always going to be around. Though, alongside this, I can’t help to also think about the good times and lessons she had thought me throughout my life. Shortly after her death, I started a new internship at a big engineering company. I keep her in mind to push me to learn as much as I can, to be confident in a new environment, and to demonstrate what ways I can help others. Every day, I try to learn as much as I can. My grandmother taught me that making mistakes when you are learning is alright. This has helped me to have a positive mindset and encouraged me to come back the next day even when I had a difficult day. Her memory pushed me to treasure the time I have and use it to help build a career and path for myself in the future. By accepting grief and loss, allowed me to accept and properly moan and heal from her death.