What do you believe about grief and loss?
Post submissions here that match this topic thread in comments.
What do you believe about grief and loss?
Post submissions here that match this topic thread in comments.
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August 16, 2023 at 4:01 am
K Benham
Grief is a language that everyone speaks differently.
I believe we all have a unique understanding of what it means to grieve and suffer. There is no way to quantify how much an event in someone’s life should impact them. We can say that one person has it worse off than the other but in doing so we are subject to our own biases. I have heard people say “you think this is bad, think about the homeless” while someone is going through something that makes them feel terrible. It’s easy to compare whether someone lives in a home or not but it is impossible to compare the entirety of two human lives.
As a child, I was conditioned to suppress my pain, constantly reminded that others had it worse. Whenever I was upset, no matter the magnitude of my reaction I was reminded that someone out their has experienced worse. I was upset when I got bullied at school but I was reminded there are people in the world who don’t get to have an education in the first place. I was upset when my grandparents passed away but I was reminded there are people who never knew their grandparents in the first place. I was upset when I was diagnosed with a serious illness but I was reminded that their are people who have the same illness to a more extreme degree. At some point I just stopped outwardly expressing my negative emotions. I felt guilty for being upset. As with most things that are bottled up over time the pressure was building.
There was a day when the dam finally broke – a moment so dark and desperate that no comparison could diminish it. I won’t get too drenched in the details but there was a point where I genuinely believed I would have to take a human life to save myself and others. My whole life I thought I had everything better off and in this moment I couldn’t think of it getting worse.
It didn’t take me long after to figure out that human experiences aren’t as comparable as I had thought. Making a venn diagram of two fictional characters can take hours. Making a venn diagram of two real people takes more than a single lifetime. Grief is not a competition; it is a deeply personal journey, unique to each individual
August 21, 2023 at 6:41 pm
I’ve had similar experiences where people try to dismiss/diminish my or others grief with comments about the homeless or starving. But what you said is very true on how grief is a language that we all speak differently. I definitely think that we all process and experience things very differently and that is just being human and it is pointless to try and compete or compare each others experiences.
August 27, 2023 at 12:22 am
I agree when you say that grief is a language in the way that it has many forms of expression that unite all of us. We were scattered and fractured people, yet we could find comfort in the shared understanding that even through loss and pain, life still goes on. We may have been separated by different languages or customs, but we understood each other when it came to expressing our grief. Even though everyone’s story was different, there was a commonality in our sorrow. I am sorry about what happened. You are very strong.
August 27, 2023 at 3:26 pm
I agree. Growing up, I always heard this, and there was always a “be grateful” right behind it. And I was grateful; I was happy with what I had. I wasn’t a child who wanted much. But somehow, expressing or talking about anything that was affecting me emotionally or physically outside of happiness was not allowed if the adults in my life genuinely thought that I was complaining or being ungrateful. I feel like there are better ways to go about it than forcing a child to suppress their feelings, because the only thing holding in my feelings did for me was make me end up a 17-year-old child who didn’t understand what she was feeling and who couldn’t put a name to other emotions besides anger and happiness. I would brush it off as me having an attitude because that’s what my emotions were classified as. So I ended up not being able to regulate these emotions and would only feel them in extremes, or that’s what it looked like, because I would just let everything pass and bottle it up until I exploded, and that’s the only time people would even know that there was anything wrong. So now I’m struggling with my own emotions and trying to do the work to get everything under control and deal with all the damage in a healthy way, and all I’m hearing is the same: Be grateful; people don’t have it as good as you,” “you need to realize what you have, and I do, and I hate it when people just assume, and so that only made it worse. I went through this phase where I became selfish; I didn’t care for anyone else but myself and my own problems. I am glad I didn’t stay in that headspace and let what other people assumed about me affect me in a negative way. I ddint let it take me out of my character anymore. I grew from it, and I believe I have a healthy way of dealing with assumptions and other people’s opinions of what they think I’m like. This lesson is one that everyone should learn: one, stop assuming, and two, don’t undermine people’s emotions. It’s ok if you yourself can’t handle them or don’t know the right way to do so, but don’t just shut that other person down when they’re expressing something that’s bothering them, because people will internalize it if it is said enough times.
September 4, 2023 at 5:05 pm
I understand this and completely agree. Grief is something that is so personal, it’s different for everyone but yet we can all say in some shape or form that we have experienced it. It can teach us things we never knew about our selves and others, as we grow as people we learn to evolve with grief. It shapes us, grief is unpredictable and unique.
September 5, 2023 at 2:21 am
The way I look at grief is the same way I look at a human fingerprint. No person’s fingerprint is identical to someone else’s. Not one person on this planet is going to go through the same traumatic experience as someone else, and similarly, everyone is going to handle it in different ways. Despite all the different situations, the social norm is to try and turn these experiences into a competition. “well that sucks, but this happened to me!”, and will make it seem like they’re going through something worse or more painful. My grandmother passed away on October 4th, 2020 from pancreatic cancer. From that very moment I have been a different person. Even almost three years later, the pain still finds it’s way to me in waves. Grief is something that everyone on this planet will experience one way or another. It’s hard for some to understand that everyone copes in different ways, and that one person’s loss is not going to be “worse” or “harder” than someone else’s. Trying to one-up someone else’s pain is disrespectful, and can really hurt the other person involved, and make them feel invalidated for feeling the way they do.
Even with this social norm, grief is still something that is so important in everyone’s lives. It helps us to grow and come to terms with our feelings. We grow individually, and it can help us grow closer to others. Even though my grandmothers passing presented me with some of the worst times of my life, I know that it changed me in so many ways. I also know that she’s guiding and protecting me from wherever she is now. Even though I miss her more than anything, she helped me to bloom into the woman that I am becoming. When someone opens up to you about losing a loved one, remember that their fingerprint isn’t yours.
September 5, 2023 at 6:46 pm
I love how you described grief, it truly is different for everyone. No one will ever have the same experience. I hate when people try to compare their grief to someone else to make it seem like they’re going through something worse because that’s not how grief works. I’m sorry that growing up you felt you had to suppress your pain, just know that all your feelings are valid. Never feel guilty for feeling what you feel.
September 7, 2023 at 5:04 pm
i 100% agree with what your saying. Lots of people have to go through grief and rather it bring a competition like you said it is more of a personal journey
August 16, 2023 at 4:02 am
Veronica R.
Grief and loss can’t be one specific thing, I think a lot of people can agree to that. It isn’t for just a group of people because everyone experiences it one way or another. What I do believe grief and loss is, is the fact of something precious being taken away from someone. It also just is a part of life, even if one doesn’t want to admit to it.My first real experience with grief and loss was with my first hamster, Soda. His death was expected, but when it happened, I couldn’t believe he was gone. It felt weird having something I loved so much not live anymore, at least not physically. Because here’s the thing: I always knew about grief and loss. I’ve always been told about family members I lost when I was too young to comprehend what a color was, or who passed before I was born. To me they were my parents memories and loss passed on to me, but not mine. They weren’t really my loss because I never had them to begin with. It was when I had my cousin die of cancer, that I realized how grief and loss actually is. I met her only a couple of times before her passing, but knowing who she was, and seeing how her door never opened afterwards struck me. I couldn’t believe someone I actually knew, personally, wouldn’t be there anymore when I went to visit. It felt weird and uncomfortable, and whenever I think back to it, my heart aches a bit. The grieving got better at being concealed, but I truly believe the loss is as strong as ever. That’s another thing, I believe loss can be as potent as the day it happened, and while grief can as well, I believe grief can be easier to hold and lose its control over the years. I still have a loss for my hamster, but I don’t grieve for him anymore. Whenever and if ever I visit my aunt’s house again, the loss of my cousin will be there, but the grieving won’t control me as much. I will always live with my own losses, but they’re mine, and they keep me going. It takes a lot of strength to live along one’s own grief and loss, but it adds character, and makes sure that our memories will always live within us.
September 4, 2023 at 10:38 pm
I really think this is well said, and I can relate to your experiences. I connected with what you said about being told about family members passing away when you were young, and not feeling real grief because it was your parent’s grief. And with your cousin, I felt the same way with my grandfather when he passed a few years ago. The grief and loss was so strong that just walking into the house was unbearable. But it is also important to not let it consume us, because we still have a life that if not yet finished. These are hard emotions that take all of our will to process and get through, but it is worth it in the end because we will always be left with the memories to never forget.
August 16, 2023 at 4:29 am
I’ve been dealing with grief since 2017 my grandmother passed September 2nd that was my whole heart her and my mother raised me I grew up around all females for the most part that’s why I’m the man I am today I think about her everyday got her name tatted on me so she’s with me everywhere I go I lost a piece of my heart that night I got to the hospital I was so angry and didn’t know what to do but cry dealing with my grief I took off 2 weeks of school which made my 7th grade year way more stressful cause I was failing
Every class I ain’t give up and ended up with honor roll and graduating middle school.
Another loss I took was in august 2021 I lost my uncle my twin I learned a lot from him he was the oldest out of my nanas kids he was made sure I got everything I asked for a good soul always smiling and enjoying life to the fullest my grief was hard I tried not to think about it but I found out a couple days I got back from Florida and I was starting my junior year of high school so it took a impact on my attendance for the first week of school.
This lost will never be okay and it’s still confusing on how my bro ain’t with me right now. I lost one of my best friends since middle school December 23rd 2022 That was the last straw I was heart broken and it’ll still scar me for life we had plans we ain’t even get to do for the new year my kids ain’t gonna know him personally just the memories and it hurts to say it cause I was with him almost everyday same job where ever he was I was this grief will be forever but i’m just getting better with dealing with the fact my Brodie gone it had a impact on my whole group to the point where school was the last thing we was worried about. But we got through it and here I am checking in as a freshman in Dartmouth ! Accomplishing every goal for all my angles. Losing somebody hurts mentally and the grief will try to take over you it’s up to you to fight it yes it will hurt forever but make it a reason you try harder in life just for your angles they all smiling down look at us head to college keep y’all head up❤️
August 27, 2023 at 12:26 am
I had a similar experience in 2018 when my grandmother passed away. Losing such an important woman in your life is definitely tough, and I sympathize with you. You are very strong with all these losses, and I am sure all these important people who were once in your life are very proud of the way you are living your life.
September 1, 2023 at 9:35 pm
I resonate with what you wrote here. I too lost my grandmother that same year, and navigating through those feelings is hard. You have clearly worked through a lot of grief, and I empathize with you. I agree that it is so important to continue on and to preserve the legacy of those we lost by continuing to persevere and work towards our goals.
September 5, 2023 at 7:48 pm
Your very strong for going through this I know it’s not easy and you are brave for sharing this.
August 16, 2023 at 8:28 pm
Madeline L
Grief is an unwanted, unexpected, and imaginable feeling that comes in many different forms and forms in many different ways. My life changed the day my mom got a call from the hospital, my dad had a stroke. However this had happened before, the night of my freshman year homecoming dance i had friends and family over before to take pictures and celebrate, my dad had a minor stroke and i remember not wanting to go to the dance because i didn’t want to leave his side, i hated seeing him suffer and i couldn’t imagine life without him. He ended up being okay and there was no permanent damage from that first stroke. After this night, i had a wake up call, I made sure to be thankful for my dad, and the fact he was still here with me. The summer going into Sophomore year, was when we got the call. My dad had gone into work that day like he usually would, but he suffered another stroke at work, we went to the hospital to see him, my mom and and my sister were standing on one side of the bed and i was standing on the other, he kept asking if i was there because he had lost vision and feeling on his left side, i knew it wasn’t good, but i wasn’t prepared for what was about to come. We decided to transfer him to a better hospital in the city, we said goodbye and my last words to him were “i love you and i’ll see you soon.” But on the way to the second hospital he had a major stroke, after he went into emergency surgery. I prayed and prayed that he would be okay and he would come home again. But he never woke up. And my life was changed forever. It’s been almost 3 years and the pain, grief and loss still affects me like it happened just yesterday. But as each day goes on i can feel him with me and he gives me motivation to continue living life and to be successful.
September 5, 2023 at 9:02 pm
I’ve had some friends who all lost one of their parents as well and i feel like you truly realize how much they mattered when they go away. the closest ive had to this was my cat, who loved me the most and i went to her for emotional support. but 2 years ago, she was unconscious, and very cold. i tried to warm her up but she died 20 minutes later from an expanding liver. whenever this happens to someone, i will always say what i told one of my friend when his father died. “i heard what happened and i wish i could say i know what you are going through, but i don’t. I’ve lost an important pet, and a family member i never really got to know that much. but loosing someone that important must be terrible. i feel really bad for you, and if you ever need to talk, then I’m always here. remember, think of the good times you had, not the opportunities you missed. it will change your life, but don’t let that ruin it.”
August 19, 2023 at 3:06 pm
Alexandros S
I believe that death and loss are some of the most beautifully melancholic things a person can experience. Death, grief, loss is an experience everyone will feel. There is an air of inevitability around it, that air is terrifying. It shortens your breath, it makes you fear what is to come, the one certainty you know. It’s easy to focus on what you know, what you see in front of you, but how you get there will never be what you expect. Suddenly, moments that came and went with people no longer around you become things you can’t help but think about. These moments make you want to hold onto those people close, but there is no longer anything there to hold onto. The death you have felt doesn’t have to cast its shadow over what you have ahead of you. What does this shadow behind you have to mean? You toss it around in your head as you keep going. Which direction you go in will be different from what you see ahead of you. The direction in the shadow and the direction out of it. What path did you take? What path will you take? Will death drive you or hold you back?
August 22, 2023 at 1:04 pm
your writing is beautiful and the way you described grief is a perfect example and understanding of how it works, thank you for sharing your words , I wish you the best🤍
August 27, 2023 at 12:28 am
The way you expressed yourself through your writing is beautiful. Death and grief are hard to understand, but you communicated them with such emotion and clarity. Thank you for your words. I wish you well.
September 6, 2023 at 2:55 pm
I think this was well said. I enjoy how you’ve placed a positive spin on something that feels it should be only tragic. Of course, it will be one’s misfortune and tragedy, but there is so much more out there that appears to be unknown and you tend to cherish and value time with your loved ones which is the beautiful part of life.
Thank you for sharing!
August 20, 2023 at 9:03 pm
Joy W.
There are five stages of grief, denial, depression, anger, bargaining, and acceptance. Grief is one of the most difficult and confusing things to go through, there is no right way to grieve and everyone experiences it differently. This is why it makes it so hard to go through, no one can tell you how to grieve which is why it’s such a long and confusing process. I am currently in the middle of the grieving process, in November I lost my grandmother to cancer. She fought for six years but lost due to kidney failure. She spent the last three months of her life-fighting in the hospital and stayed positive the entire time. Losing a grandparent is hard but it was especially hard for me because I lived with her for three years. I lived there so attend the high school I wanted. While living there she became my second mom and helped me through a lot of bad times. I was extremely close with her and still struggle with grieving, but I’ve learned there truly isn’t a right and wrong way to grieve. I’ve learned that grieving takes time, you will never fully move on, but it will become easier to talk or think about. Many people who have experienced losing a family member come out one way or another, some emerge for the better and some for the worse. There’s no guarantee how you will react once it happens to you, but all you can do is push through it and remember there is always light at the end of the tunnel.
August 21, 2023 at 5:50 pm
The way you described grief was very moving throughout your blog post and made me relate to your story. My grandmother passed away due to cancer two years ago and we were very close. I liked how you explained that grieving takes time and that it is different for everyone along with some optimistic words at the end.
August 27, 2023 at 12:30 am
I related to this writing. My grandmother passed away due to cancer in 2018 and the way you described that the grieving process takes time and that it’s a journey that resonated with me.
August 31, 2023 at 7:48 pm
The way you described your version of grief really made me relate to it. I lost both by grandparents in 2022, eight months apart (one in February and one in November). Nothing could have prepared me for it, but I agree that grieving takes time and that everyone has different experiences with it.
August 26, 2023 at 3:14 am
I have always had a love for sports and helping others. Throughout my high school years, I have worked to make a positive impact in my community by leading my football team and giving back to the community. As a highschooler, going to class to get good grades was always the goal but the cycle became mundane, at times leaving me with a sense of futility until my love of Football, my sense of leadership skills, and joy to help others all collided. While I got to experience so much throughout my four years of high school that will have a lasting impact on me, it was my last two years that truly opened my sensors and love for helping others. It was my time spend as a big brother to children in my community, the many volunteering opportunities that afforded me new perspectives each day and ultimately the exciting networking connections made, that I will hold on to as I progress throughout my journey through college. I hadn’t realized the level of satisfaction I truly received from being on the field and having the opportunity to help other athletes until the day that I volunteered with a youth football summer camp. It was, just like any other football practice until it wasn’t. One of the youths that I was assisting with a drill fell badly, causing an injury to his leg. Until
this point, I only knew what it was like to be him. I could empathize with every emotion he was going through at that very moment as I have had my own share of horrible falls in my time on the field. However, rather quickly, I learned what it was like to not be the injured football player in need of assistance and without even realizing it, I spung into action, taking every lesson I ever learned from previous athletic trainers, science courses throughout high school, my own experiences and my coaches and I took the lead in assisting this young football player appropriately. I walked away from my volunteering session that day with a completely different sense of fulfillment. It was my experience that day that made me realize that my love of Football, my sense of leadership skills, and joy to help others all collided into what I realized was my true passion really is…. A future in the field of sports medicine. I have seen firsthand the effects that proper medical care can have on athletes, and I want to be part of that positive change. I am drawn to the field of sports medicine because it allows me to combine my love of sports and helping others. I am excited to learn about the human body and the various treatments and therapies that are available to athletes. I am also eager to pursue a career that allows me to work with athletes to help them perform at their best. With the knowledge I will gain in college, I will be able to make a difference in my community and in the lives of athletes. I believe that attending college will give me the opportunity to pursue my passion and gain the knowledge and skills necessary to become a successful sports medicine professional. I am confident that I will be able to excel in the classroom and make the most of my college experience. I also look forward to connecting with other students who share my passion and working with faculty who can provide guidance and support. In college, I plan to pursue a degree in sports medicine and become a certified athletic trainer. I am determined to learn as much as I can so that I can help athletes of all levels reach their full potential. I am excited to take on the challenge of becoming a sports medicine professional and making a positive impact on the lives of athletes.
September 6, 2023 at 4:22 am
I like how you had used the knowledge that you have gained to help others in the spur of the moment. Most knowledge that people gain to help others such as cpr training are put to waste because when the time comes where it is needed, most people shy away. It shows how you really are a leader. Nice Essay.
August 29, 2023 at 6:43 pm
One of the biggest losses happened before I was even born. I have the privilege to look up at the sky knowing that my big brother, Nicolas, is up there. My parents were incredible at making sure I knew who he was. I wonder if he would have my dad’s green eyes, or my mom’s perfect smile. I wonder if he would be shy like me, or outgoing like our younger brother. Sometimes I wonder how it’s even possible to grieve someone you have never met before, then I remember that everyday of my life is grieving the relationship we never got to create.
On January 9th, 2015, I walked into my living room to discover my parents crying on the couch. I knew my grandfather was spiraling and that his cancer was spreading fast, meaning he didn’t have much time before he joined my brother in heaven. Without any words, I knew they were now reunited. I may have only had ten short years with my grandfather, but he showed his love of a lifetime in just those ten short years. The grief now got stronger. Looking up to see a sunset, I know it’s him showing me he’s here.
On June 22nd, 2016, my mother received a call at seven in the morning, and in the darkest of sleeps, I sat straight up in my bed and knew what that call was for. My uncle Tony lost his fight to cancer and was now dancing with my grandfather and brother. My mother’s weeping was something I’ll never be able to forget. The dreariness of the next few days came over our family like a storm, and the grieving continued.
On January 28th, 2014, my greatest loss occurred. No one in my family had passed away, we were all still here. It was my childhood that I would start grieving from this day forward. My little brother, Athyn, was diagnosed with Stage 4 High Risk Neuroblastoma cancer. I was now eight years old, wishing I would be able to play with barbies instead of looking up the survival rate of cancer.
To this very day I grieve the fact that I didn’t get to experience a normal childhood because I had to mature fast in a life or death situation. This loss changed my life for the better in every way possible. I learned that even in the darkest of times, we often forget to search for the light. Because of this loss, I am now about to start one of the greatest chapters in my life with Athyn cheering me on. I am now on my way to receive my degree in Bioengineering and childhood cancer research. While I grieve my childhood, I praise my future. One day I will be saving other children and saving their family from grief, and the grief that once was, will now be the future of tomorrow. I believe that the biggest losses are often our greatest wins.
August 31, 2023 at 1:33 pm
Thank you for sharing these stories with us. I am deeply touched by your grief and inspired by your maturity and persistence to keep on keepin’ on.
September 5, 2023 at 8:40 pm
Thank you for telling your story. I can relate in a way to your loss, my grandmother passed away when I was 8 from pancreatic cancer, and I know that cancer is a very terrible disease to have. I couldn’t imagine seeing a sibling go through that pain. I am deeply sorry for your losses and hope you are doing well. I also deeply praise your resilience and passion to help others going through that pain!
August 30, 2023 at 2:51 am
Grieving is not a linear process. When I hear the word grief, I compare it to riding a roller coaster. When you’re riding a roller coaster, you go through many ups and downs. Grieving involves the same process. Grief comes in many different phases. There are days where your emotions are through the roof and you’re extremely happy, and then there are days where you feel like the whole world is collapsing on you. I grew up in an immigrant household where my parents didn’t know how to grieve in a healthy manner. As a result of my parents having unhealthy grieving habits, I learned how to grieve alone. Since the deaths of my brother and sister, I have learned many things about grieving. When I first lost my siblings, it left me in a very dark place for a long chapter in my life. It helped me understand how to deal with my emotions rather than shutting down and letting myself fall apart. One of the many healthy coping mechanisms I’ve started to use is going on daily walks. For me, walking is a form of escaping reality and becoming one with nature. Walking is a great way to deal with grief because it gives you a second to escape your inner thoughts.Walking is a great way to deal with grief because it gives you a second to escape your inner thoughts.
September 1, 2023 at 12:48 am
I could not agree more. Grief is almost something inevitable, and the emotions that come with it range. At first its hard, and it is truly heart-breaking. However, as time takes its toll, it became easier and easier. I was able to accept the fact that one of my love ones passed, and I was once again, able to enjoy the memories I once shared with them.
September 5, 2023 at 3:22 am
It’s fantastic that you found a healthy coping mechanism to help you through your grieving process. I agree that grieving isn’t a linear process. It’s 100% a roller coaster, and that roller coaster looks different for everyone. We may not all have the same stops at the same length at time, and that’s okay. When we understand that the grieving process looks different for everyone, we can begin to help others in their grieving. This could be done in many ways, such as being a shoulder to cry on, an open ear, or providing a safe space for them to be alone.
Thank you for sharing your perspective and what you’ve learned during your grieving process.
September 2, 2023 at 4:23 pm
Megan M
Grief and loss. One of the most tragic, yet common human emotions that we face. It is a fact that all things come to an end. While it is important to allow ourselves to grieve when they do, it is also imperative to allow ourselves to live on. For example, I work in a nursing home with many elderly residents. In the year that I have worked there, quite a few residents have unfortunately passed on. I miss so many of them dearly, and it is devastating to see them go. However, with time, I have learned to better cope with the idea of grief, loss, and ultimately death. When I first started this job, there was a resident who I was very close with. I would spend as much time as I could with her every day, and she had one of the kindest souls that I have ever known. One day, she went into kidney failure and was put on hospice. I remember feeling so hurt but also angry. I wondered why this sweet lady was going be taken from us. She could no longer walk, didn’t want to eat, and barely talked because she was in so much pain. One day, I walked into her room to see her crying. She explained to me that she was in so much pain and was ready to go. I will always remember what she said next; “I know it’s my time. I love you so much and thank you for making my last few months much better.” I remember feeling a bit angry at her, but also angry at the world. How could this happen? But then, I thought about her words. Why am I angry? She just said that I made a difference in her life. She said she was ready to go. I reflected on this for a long time. I ultimately decided on this; why should we worry about death so much? I know death is terrifying, but it is inevitable. Why waste our time on earth worrying about something that is bound to happen? And ask yourself: would you really want to live forever? I imagine it must become boring after a while. With all this said, I do believe that it is important to grieve when someone you love is gone. It is also important to miss them and reminisce on the fun times that you had. I understand that you probably will for a long time. However, do not let your grief consume you. Grieve and then accept that death is bound to happen. And accept that everyone goes through loss, then grief, and inevitably, passing on. You should use your life not worrying about the inevitable, but living your life to the fullest.
September 5, 2023 at 5:52 am
Grace Bolutife OIadoja
What do I believe when it comes to “Grief and Loss”?’ In the short time I’ve lived, I’ve attended more funerals than I can account for and I’ve seen enough dead bodies that cease to leave my memory. Back in my sophomore year of high school I wrote a poem that expressed my grief my pain and my hurt. At the time poetry was the only calm that numbed me and allowed me not to face the truth of reality, the death of my beloved aunty.
“There’s a time to live and a time to die.
But why die when you can be alive.
To everything there is a season
A time to weep and a time to laugh
But why laugh,
When all I have inside me is pain just looking at her
photograph.
lie and say I’m relaxed
But truth is I collapsed”
Yes, indeed poetry did numb me but it also made me angry. It made me feel suffocated like I couldn’t breathe. I would constantly read Ecclesiastes 3 just questioning why these rules made by God had to be. Why do we all have to die at some random point, leaving behind the lives we touched? However, as I’ve gotten a bit older I’ve learned to really appreciate Ecclesiastes 3 because it tells us believers a recap of what life will be. In life there is always a time for everything, even a time for grief and loss because death is inevitable. Therefore, it’s up to us to decided whether we take the time we have on earth for granted or honor said time and live it to change the lives of at least one.
September 7, 2023 at 4:39 am
Hey Grace. First, I would like to say my condolences grief isn’t easy to go through. Second, I would like to say is that I really liked your poem. I thought it was an interesting way to express your pain. The way you phrase your poem gave me some remorse of the pain you were experiencing. Thank you for sharing. The way you ended your submission post was warming since you chose to end on a positive outlook on life rather than a negative view.
-Divina Wembi